Alison Wonderland

Stability

2011-02-17T12:33:00.006-06:00

Practicing stability has meant unlearning the habits of a culture that tells us the answer to our problems is always somewhere else. -John Wilson-Hartgrove.

diagram from http://keithrogershome.com/Chap6StabilityInstability.html

Learning

2011-02-17T11:47:00.001-06:00

My current contract as an environmental educator is coming to an end, which of course prompts some introspection.

What exactly have I learned in the past 2 years?

I've gained some practical skills. I can confidently say I can ice fish, cut up worms, find salamanders, snowshoe, lead a nature hike, collect acorns, grow oak trees, identify a variety of wild flowers and trees, appreciate rocks, cave, and even discipline unruly students.

While I learned a lot of those things in an afternoon (learned, not mastered) most of my learning seems to have crept up slowly.

This winter, I have been slowly reading Faith in a Seed by H.D. Thoreau. In it, Thoreau records his observations of the trees, seeds, and seedlings in the Walden Pond area.

And well, Thoreau knew his stuff. The kind of stuff you only know by spending a great deal of time sitting and watching. What do squirrels do in a typical day? How do pine trees know when to disperse their seed? How long does it take an oak seedling to start looking like an oak tree?

And in the midst of his naturalist observations there are little bits of wisdom. One paragraph Thoreau is describing how oak trees produce seeds and the next he's expounding on timing.

For example;

Nature works no faster than need be. If she has to produce a bed of cress or radishes, she seems to us swift; but if it is pine or oak wood, she may seem to us slow or wholly idle, so leisurely and secure is she. She knows that seeds have many other uses than to reproduce their own kind. If every acorn of this year's crop is destroyed, or the pines bear no seed, never fear. She has more years to come. It is not necessary that a pine or an oak should bear fruit every year, as it is that a pea vine should.
-H.D Thoreau, Faith in a Seed, p.37

It seems there is some sort of wisdom that comes from observing the natural rhythms around you. While I am no where near Thoreau's league as a nature observer, the past two years have given me the opportunity to get started. Season by season, I am learning how to notice things.

And I have learned that you do not need to accomplish something everyday. Change does not come all at once but builds up slowly. The old field will slowly become forest. The forest will slowly go from lush and dense in summer to stark and open in winter. The garlic mustard slowly will spread from the east woodlot to the west woodlot (despite your efforts to stop it).

So the key thing I have learned is this; I am not a pea vine with only one season in which to live and bear fruit. I am an Oak. Change will be slow but I have time.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2011-02-15T15:03:00.001-06:00

You know how when you're waiting for a specific email you check your email approximately 75 times a day?

And the 20 seconds between entering your password and waiting for the page to load are pure torture?

That's what I've been doing today.

Gah.

So I have had about 1500 seconds of torture today (75 times x 20 seconds). That's 25 minutes. Wow. 25 minutes spent waiting for a page to load...

I really should just stop checking and focus my attention elsewhere....

But that's no fun.

...I'm going to go check my email again...

Useful

2011-02-15T12:17:00.000-06:00

I am occasionally asked if I know what the shrub oaks were made for. But worthless as the woodsman regards it, it is to me one of the most interesting of trees and, like the white birch, is associated in my mind with New England. For whatever we have perceived to be in the slightest degree beautiful is of infinitely more value to us than what we have only as yet discovered to be useful and to serve our purpose.

-H.D. Thoreau. Faith in a Seed p.144

Love

2011-02-14T08:45:00.001-06:00

Such love does the sky now pour, that whenever I stand in a field, I have to wring the light out when I get home. -St. Francis of Assisi.

Sock Monkey!

2011-01-19T08:29:00.006-06:00

So I've been cultivating my craft skills lately. I have big plans to make a lot of things, now I just need time.

Up next: A Sock Monkey! The Web Goddess has an amazing tutorial on her website here: Sock Monkey Tutorial

It looks so simple I just want to start right away.

But I just remembered; last winter I started making a crochet monkey. It looked so simple I just wanted to start right away (before I had all the materials...) Perhaps I should finish that one first.

This is my problem in life. I am very good at starting things, not great at finishing them!

Here are all kinds of things I'm very anxious to get started making. But one project at a time. One project at a time.

Re-Design

2011-01-12T12:28:00.004-06:00

If you check here frequently, I'd like to apologize for the almost constant re-designs on this blog. I discovered the ability to change the background photo and have since been unable to pick one.

I often find myself unable to pick one thing. To Settle. To Commit. (Scary Verbs!) And this is just my blog...

I think however, I have settled on a photo. The blog re-designs shall cease for now.

However, the life re-designs are just beginning. My work contract ends in March, so I am on the hunt for a new job and possibly a new place to live. The frustrating part is that I was starting to settle into this job and this community.

It seems whenever I do commit to something, forces beyond my control come a long and say, "Sorry, this is not for you right now. You'll have to go find something else". (That force is usually the economy).

So the job hunt. In my field, this actually means the temporary contract-work hunt. Sigh. People say you need to work 5+ years in the environmental field before you'll get permanent work. I've known people who've worked in it for 10 and are still waiting.

I've been asking myself if I'm willing to wait that long.

And it's taken me a few months to realize that I'm not. I don't want to live my life with so little commitment and consistency. I want to settle down a bit. Not settle, just commit and settle down somewhere that fits.

So I am exploring a career shift to a more stable field. One that is still exciting and still a good fit for me, just more consistent with its work options. We shall see what happens!

TURTLE!

2011-01-08T07:20:00.007-06:00

I made a turtle!

When I told this to a friend, he said "Wow, I can't make turtles".

So I said, "Oh, why not?".

"I only have human reproductive parts." He replied.

So, to be more specific, I crocheted a turtle. And while this turtle doesn't technically have turtle reproductive parts, she has some how managed to reproduce.

I love the biological accuracy of this turtle. She lays eggs! And the eggs hatch! How cool is that?

I got the pattern from Ana Paula Rimoli's lovely book Amigurumi Two: Crocheted toys for me and you and baby too. Check out her flickr page with photos of her other projects.

Oak Trees: Seed to Seedling. Part 2

2010-12-22T13:13:00.000-06:00

Adolescence

A sapling is no more than a tapered tube, a two-by-two. Six feet up from the ground it projects awkward looking sticks left and right that end in bursts of leaf, bigger than expected. The leaves themselves oversized, out of proportion to the skinny branch.

Incongruities. The forms of adolescence.

When it bends in the wind, it bends beyond the point you'd intuitively feel
has no return. What business has wood being so pliant?

However, elastic as it is, and because it must, the sapling pretends to the tree it envisions. There is no turning back to the seed. Once it has raised its head about the undergrowth it mimics the eventual outcome, behaves as if the goal were already reached, as if its future were fully contained within it now: home for the wildlife, shade of the nations below. The absurdity of this is transparent of course, as obvious to the eye as the ultimate fragility of the stick figure itself.

Then, again, the wind blows.

John Terpstra in Naked Trees.

Oak Trees: Seed to Seedling

2010-12-17T12:47:00.000-06:00

Cake and Marriage

2010-11-16T08:41:00.000-06:00

I'm getting to the 'marriagable' [sic] stage of life. I have observed and supported friends in their marriages and seen what a whole lot of work the whole thing is. I feel no great rush to be married myself but have appreciated learning from other people's marriages.

... Usually...

So last year, it was my turn to make snacks for a Bible study esq group I belonged to. I brought a homemade upside down pear cake. It turned out really well, if I do say so myself.

Now, there as one woman in my group who is an out-spoken, happily married, self-proclaimed feminist. She is very smart and a delight to talk to. But on this occasion, trying to be witty, she said "Wow, how can she still be single if she makes cake this good?!".

This woman hadn't meant to offend but... yeah... how do you respond to that?

How does it follow that if I can make a cake, I should be married? Is this stereotypical gender role really a requirement for marriage?

So this past Sunday, I was at a luncheon with a bunch of people from my church, ranging in age from 5 months to 85 years. One young married couple brought a cake.

An 85 year old woman told the young woman she was a fantastic baker and the cake was great. The young woman responded with thanks, but said her husband had actually made the cake. She wasn't actually a very good cook or baker.

"Well", the older lady responded; "There's the secret to a good marriage, a man who can do what his wife can't."

That made me smile. A much better marriage philosophy, I think.

Wonder

2010-11-09T14:40:00.001-06:00

Existence is vastly beautiful, wonderfully good, magestically true. We can only get off on the right foot by beginning with adoration. All authentic anything has its beginning in a sense of wonder... if we do not begin with adoration, we begin too small.
-Eugine Peterson

Lord, grant me the grace of wonder.
-Joshua Abraham Heschel

Profit

2010-11-09T14:34:00.001-06:00

Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
When they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit.
Prophesy such returns.

-Wendell Berry in The Mad Farmer Liberation Front.

Inquiry

2010-11-09T14:26:00.000-06:00

Christian faith prompts inquiry, searches for deeper understanding, dares to raise questions. How could we ever be finished with the quest for a deeper understanding of God? What would be the likely result if we lacked the courage to ask, Do I rightly know who God is and what God wills?

Daniel Migliore
Faith Seeking Understanding

To balance you

2010-10-05T12:11:00.000-05:00

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

-John O'Donohue
Echoes of Memory

Moving Towards Community

2010-09-21T07:31:00.000-05:00

I was in university around the time the whole 'community' thing kicked into high gear. In my First and Second years, the Christian group leaders advised us to live with other Christians for support and encouragement. By my Third year, they were advising us to find a 'community' and to 'live intentionally'.

I'm not sure if the idea changed or just the words we used to describe it.

In any rate, the idea of community spoke to me deeply. I'd always felt like an outsider, even in my homogeneous sub-culture where I was technically the same as everyone else. A community where I truly belonged and could be loved seemed too good to be true.

And I found that in university. And it was very good. But of course, university is impermanent and you must move on in the end.

After discernment and prayer, I decided to go to Cambodia to serve with a Christian Community Development organization. Developing community, it sounded perfect.

I also had this desire to live in a country where 'community' was something intrinsically understood. I wanted to learn about community from people who built their whole lives around it. Who didn't know there was an alternative, that you could live without community.

Be careful what you idealize.

Snatches of Community

Sick.

It's hot. My host family takes me to a rural area for a holiday. I pick up amoebic dysentery. After a night spent behind the hay stacks, I want to go home, to my bed in Phnom Penh. They re-organize the world and get me there. I don't remember how.

The Mentos and Diet Pop Incident.

My host brothers and nephews want to recreate the infamous YouTube video; diet pop and mentos fountains. I am put in charge of obtaining the supplies. Triumphantly, I return from the 'foreigner's market' with my loot.

Convinced the pop bottle will explode, my hosts run for cover. I stand in the yard watching them fight for shelter behind a wooden screen. The youngest nephew laughs in expectation, excited to see me sprayed with pop fizz. Nothing happens. I laugh at them.

Pomellos.

Pomellos are grapefruits on steroids, but sweeter. I love them. Especially dipped in sugar and chili. I bought two from a lady with two babies. When I get home with my loot, I share with my Khmer family. My host mom smiles and tells her daughter my heart is too soft. What are we going to do tomorrow when I run into a durain seller with 5 babies? (Durian is essentially a stink bomb on steroids).

Party.

I am cranky and in need of a shower. I return home from a few days in a rural area only to find that I am meant to be a birthday party. The youngest niece has turned 4. I am seated on the back of a motor bike and dragged across town to her house in the airport slum. I am cranky, self absorbed, and just want to nap. No one seems to mind my crankiness. In fact, they indulge it, giving me iced coffee the way I like it and calling me affectionate names.

Funeral.

My host mom died. I am paralyzed. What are the appropriate expressions of grief in this culture? What do I wear? How do I act? Wait, forget that... How do I feel?

Tired. And ashamed for not helping her more. Getting to know her more... Guilty. All feelings that are about ME.

God, I'm so selfish. Help these women who just lost their mom. This man who just lost his wife. God, thanks for my mom.

Next day, we go to the countryside to bury her. Long day in the sun. Nothing happens as I anticipate. There is no ceremony. The 'congregation' talks and jokes. No one sits and watches. No reflection.

We travel home in a flat bed truck decorated with dragons and clouds. A Cambodian Hearse. Bright red and blue and gold. Loud funeral music blares. They never question that I should be here with them. Riding in the funeral truck with them.

How to Invest in the Century: Plant an Oak.

2010-08-18T13:51:00.000-05:00

So friends, everyday do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
...

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
When they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

-Wendell Berry in The Mad Farmer Liberation Front.

I first heard this poem at a conference I was at last weekend. I love the thought here except that I don't think I should plant sequoias, as I don't live in a bioregion that is hospitable to them.

I realize the point he is getting at here is to think beyond short term gain and immediate profit. To invest in something that will have such an impact that neither you, your children, nor even your children's children will gain the full reward.

Given my geographic limitations, the best I can probably do is to invest in the next 2-3 centuries and plant oaks.

So, here are some simple instructions on how to grow an oak (sorry for the tecnical-ese. This is what I do for a living).

Step one: Find some mature oak trees in your neighbourhood, near your work, or somewhere that you go frequently (that is not a conservation area or nature reserve). You'll need to keep an eye on them so having some nearby is ideal.

Step two: Figure out what kind of oak trees you're looking at. There are two families; Red oak and White oak. Red oak have pointy leaves, White oak have round leaves. Within each family there are different species, but as long as you've figured out the family, you'll be ok.

Step three: Starting in mid July, keep an eye on your oak trees. Is it growing acorns? Oak trees produce acorns in intervals of 3-10 years. They might not produce something every year.

Now, this is important; red oaks take two years to grow their acorns. If you're looking at a red oak, make sure you're seeing 2nd year growth. 2nd year acorns will look like a small acorn emerging from the cap. If all you see is small, round, bumpy looking things, you'll have to wait till next year.

Step four: As soon as the first fall frost hits, RUN to your oak tree. They start to drop their acorns around then. I said RUN because if you don't, the squirrels, deer, raccoons, mice, stick bugs, and worms will probably get all the acorns before you do.

Step five: Collect a handful or so of acorns. I'd say 10 should do you. Make sure you pick nice plump, dark coloured ones that aren't moldy, holey, or spotty. The cap should also be fairly easy to take off.

Step six: If you collected red oak acorns, you'll have to put them in cold storage for 40-90 days before they'll germinate. Simply place them in a thick plastic bag (a 4 mil plastic bag, to be precise) with some damp peat moss or saw dust. Then place them in your refrigerator. Ideally they should be kept around 4 degrees Celsius. I think that's about 33 degrees Fahrenheit. Check on it throughout the 40 days to make sure it's still damp.

If you collected white oak acorns, plant them immediately, as so:

Step seven: Do a 'float test'. Good acorns will sink, bad acorns will float. Discard the floaters back outside (or try planting them... sometimes they work).

Step eight: Get a 1 or 2 gallon pot. If you don't have one, poke some holes in the bottom of a 2L milk carton or a 2L pop bottle. Fill with a good quality potting soil that has been previously moistened. Tap the pot against a table or the floor to settle the dirt. Top up the pot with soil.

Place the acorn in the soil, on it's side. Push it in till it's about half covered with soil. Water thoroughly.

I recommend planting one acorn per pot, as it reduces transplant needs. But if you don't have the pots or the space, place several in one pot. You'll have to transplant the seedlings when they're very young though.

Step nine: Wait about 2 weeks. Keep the soil moist. Temperature doesn't matter to much, but don't let it freeze or get too hot and dry.

Step ten: Germination!!! Do a little dance. Probably not all your acorns will germinate. That's ok.

Step eleven: If you've planted multiples in the same container, transplant to individual containers after a few weeks.

Step twelve: Fertilize?

Step thirteen: As the seedling grows over the winter, make sure it's getting enough sunlight. If it's on a window sill, rotate it everyday so that it won't grow crocked.

Step fourteen: As soon as it starts getting warm during the days (March?), start 'hardening' off your oak by placing it outside for a few hours every day. Gradually leave it out longer and longer.

Step fifteen: Once the ground has gotten soft enough, (May 1st at the VERY latest) plant your oak outside!

Planting: dig a small hole about the size of your pot. Remove the seedling from the pot, being careful not the damage the root. Place the seedling in the hole. Make sure the top of your soil lines up with the ground. 'Tamp' the tree into place by firmly pressing into the ground immediately around the tree. Use your feet! This removes air pockets from around the roots.

Step sixteen: Give it plenty of water and tamp again.

Step eighteen: Give it some protection. Mice, deer, and rabbits love saplings. Put up a tree guard. You'll also have to keep weeds down around the tree, as they can easily out compete it.

Step nineteen: Continue to water your oak tree throughout the next year, giving it good soakings!

Step twenty: Relax under the shade of your oak (in approximately 20 years...)

---------------------
You can see there is some need to invest time and energy into these oaks seedlings. But your financial costs will be low. And this tree could live for anywhere from 60-300 years! Worth some time in the beginning, I think!

Stay

2010-08-17T14:55:00.000-05:00

One must stay to experience and study and understand the consequences- must understand them by living with them, and then correct them, if necessary, by longer living and more work. It won't do to correct mistakes made in one place by moving to another place, as has been the common fashion in America, or by adding on another place, as is the fashion in any sort of 'growth economy.'... It is the properly humbled mind in its proper place that sees truly, because - to give only one reason - it sees details.
-Wendell Berry.

This Pepper Plant Loves You

2010-08-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

This song, by Neko Case is quite lovely. I always thought it was a metaphor for a crazy/chaotic person loving a more orderly person.

Then I heard a spiel on the radio. Apparently this song is about an actual tornado. No metaphor. Neko Case just wondered 'what would happen if a Tornado loved a man?'. And this song was the result.

It makes me wonder what other inanimate objects are dying to have love songs written from their perspectives? That would probably be an excellent writing exercise.

So here we go,

This Pepper Plant Loves You.

Oh my love, like the dew, your touch is too brief.
Too quickly burned away.

Too briefly you survey,
pull the weeds,
stake my spreading leaves.

You fail to see (Why can't you see?). I grew them for you!

I exceed all expectation; overflow my pot, out shoot my stake!
And you pass by.

I unfurl my small white flowers, stary beacons to lure you in...
But you pass by.

Only the bees
(looking to meet their own needs for nectar),
notice.

But now! Now! Now my peppers with their purplish blush catch your eye!

You come to check.

You gasp!
I swoon.

The 13 peppers I brought forth, birthed and swelled for you.
Ahh... the gentle sweep of your hand...

Oh my love, for that, I would grow 13 more.

---------------
hum, so I don't think I've quite mastered the poetry of inanimate objects, but it's a start!

Smile of the Dew

2010-08-12T12:17:00.000-05:00

... O love that fires the sun
Keep me burning.
Lord of the starfields
Sower of life,
Heaven and earth are
Full of your light

Voice of the nova
Smile of the dew
All of our yearning
Only comes home to you

O love that fires the sun
keep me burning.

-Bruce Cockburn, "Lord of the Starfields"

Prayer for a Monday Morning.

2010-08-09T10:38:00.000-05:00

And when I rise,
Let me rise up
Like a bird without regret
Joyfully.

And when I fall,
Let me fall down
Like a leaf without regret
Gracefully.

-Wendell Berry

Baby Afghan

2010-07-01T10:56:00.000-05:00

My first friend my age is having a baby. Which is kinda terrifying, but also exciting.
To welcome the new baby Vanderveen, I made this afghan. I loved getting to be creative with the design.

I hadn't seen my pregnant friend in a while (living in different cities), so when we finally got together, I was a little shocked to see her 6 month pregnant belly! Weird to think that the girl I used to go on midnight walks in the rain with is going to be a mommy soon!

Cars

2010-06-30T11:19:00.000-05:00

I recently bought my very first car.

I never imagined myself to be the kind of person who would own a car, but here I am. My office is in a rural area with no public transit and car pool isn't an option So, I drive.

I bought a used car with good gas mileage, figuring that was the most environmentally friendly I could be at this stage in my life. I had looked at a Smart Car and a Yaris, but the insurance would have crippled me, thus I ended up with just your basic compact car.

I was a little frustrated that it had to come to this. That I couldn't find a way around having to drive... BUT, then I realized, I could have.

I could have moved to the end of town near my office and ridden my bike to work, but that hurts in the winter. I could take the 1 hour bus ride every morning and then have a co worker meet me to go the rest of the way in together... I could have found another job... I could have gotten creative and found a multitude of options.

So why did I choose to drive? I stumbled upon this quote while doing research at work. Interesting, I thought.

The relation of each driver to others can be described my what game theorists call the prisoner's dilemma, after the case of two suspects, each of whom is told separately by the district attorney that the other is likely to confess to a crime. Confession will bring a light sentence, but if both remain quiet, they will go free. Because each must fear that the other will confess ... each will confess to keep his risk small.

In any prisoner's dilemma situation, one course can yield everyone the best result if everyone follows it. But if not everyone follows it, then those who do make the attempt suffer a great loss.

This is the case with the automobile. For each individual it may be irrational not to drive, unless enough others also stop driving and demand good public transit. -James T. Peterson, Environment Vol. 15, No 8, October 1973

Hum... yes, I chose to blame everyone else!

I have a tomato!

2010-06-29T07:28:00.000-05:00

So, exciting news; the first cherry tomatos from my garden have started turning yellow! This is very exciting for me.

I, being inexperienced at growing things in the ground (as opposed to in containers), planted my tomato plants way too close together. As a result, I had to clip off a lot of branches. Branches that had already started bearing fruit. This made me sad.

But, I took the largest tomatos off the cliped branches, put them in a paper bag with a ripe tomato from the farmer's market, and low and behold, the tomatos started to ripen! Yay! Sometimes ethylene gas is helpful.

I've also been harvesting lettuce and swiss chard like crazy. I've started eating them like potato chips just to get through it all. I think I'm going to have to start dropping lettuce off at friend's houses in the middle of the night...

And, my brussel sprout has flowers, my strawberries have strawberries, my pepper plants have little peppers, my zuchinis have little zuchinis, and my egg plants have little egg plants. All exciting things!

And to keep you from getting jealous, I have to report my crop failures too. Cut worms got my winter squash and floods took my stevia.

Stevia is a sugar replacement and is very expensive. I thought it would be a good idea to grow my own! I was wrong.

I planted 30 stevia seeds, 10 germinated. Of those, 3 got eaten by something (when they were still VERY small), 3 died of drought, (my fault), and 2 drowned (also my fault). So I have 2 plants left of my orginal 30 seeds. I hope they make it through!

I did not anticipate getting quite this much food from a 10 foot by 10 foot plot. But it is exciting, despite the failures so far.

Summer!

2010-06-25T10:52:00.001-05:00

A whole season has passed since I last blogged. I have no excuse other than to say who wants to blog when you can be outside in the sun? I've busy getting my garden together, a blanket crocheted for a friend's baby (pictures soon!), and just generally being lazy in the spring weather. But spring is over and summer is upon us, and now it's too hot to be outside.

It was about this time last year that I bought a cook book called Simply in Season, full of recipes featuring seasonal produce.

And, I am delighted to report that I have officially cooked my way through the seasons.

Last night, while pondering what to do with my freshly picked strawberries, I flipped through the cookbook to find that strawberries are listed under the summer section, not the spring section. Which meant I was back where I started!

I also realized the first thing I made from this cook book was a four fruit apple crisp, so I decided to make that again. It's always nice to come full circle.

It's been an eye opening experience to cook with the seasons. There's far more available in winter than I had expected. And, probably because the only fruit I'd had for 6 months were apples and pears, I'm loving all the fresh fruit and berries that are available right now. I've probably eaten 10 litres of cherries, strawberries, and mulberries in the past week.

Yum... fruit.

Blitzen Trapper, Furr

2010-03-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

I heard this on the radio the other day and almost forgot I was driving :). My favourite part is when they talked about the dogwood tree. Cause I like dogwoods.

Yet Another Lovely Spring Day

2010-03-10T20:37:00.000-06:00

I love spring. I love the way it smells.

Last weekend I went to a workshop for environmental educators hoping to pick up some exercises and ideas to help me with my new contract.

One of the exercises they had us do was to stand outside and look at a tree, moving closer and closer until we were 'nose to trunk'. I, being the renegade that I am, choose to look at a stump, not a tree. So, when I ended up nose to rotting trunk, I was delighted to get a nose full of the earthy scent of spring.

I hope where ever you are you're smelling the loveliness of spring as well!

Phew!

2010-03-06T07:01:00.001-06:00

As I was rambling through the conservation area I work at the other day, I was struck by something strange; I wasn't wearing a coat.

Ah the freedom of unrestricted arm motion! That's probably my favourite day of the year; the first day the sun shines, the sky is blue, the earth begins to smell again, and I don't have to wear a coat!

To make that day even better, I had just found out that the grant I applied for was approved! I have funding! Which means I get to keep working for another year! Sweet relief!

The weather seemed to be copying my mood (a device Shakespeare was rather fond of), so I shot these photos.

And as I was shooting, this song flew through my head: winter is over, summer is here... we are stronger than we apear.

Such a hopeful day!

Crocheting Corel Reefs

2010-02-21T17:06:00.000-06:00

I LOVE THIS!!

Quite possibly the coolest thing ever. Oh how we need more of this in the world!

Margaret
Wertheim on the beautiful math of coral | Video on TED.com

The gist: what crafty women, sea slugs, and lettuce have known for millennia but mathematicians only just realized.

Play Tanks for everyone!

Water Worries

2010-02-12T07:29:00.000-06:00

I like water; I like drinking it, swimming in it, bathing in it, cooking with it. But I get really worried about what's in the water I'm doing all these things with.

I don't know what really got me worried about this. Maybe it was my time in Cambodia, when I had to worry about cholera, dysentery, amoebas, arsenic, lead, and who-knows-what-else all being in the water. Or maybe it was as an undergraduate, learning about how estrogen-mimicking pesticides are concentrating in ponds and are feminizing frogs. Or maybe it reading about the high volume of anti-depressants in the Great Lakes, introduced to the watershed from human urine.

Sometimes I think I'm just crazy and over paranoid... but then I hear about increases in early onset puberty, miscarriages, autism, cancer... and I get really worried.

All kinds of chemicals are being introduced to our watersheds everyday. And they come from all kinds of places; urine, lipstick, motor-oil, pharmaceutical products, paper mills, steel mills, oil refineries...

We really have no idea what how these chemicals behave in the environment, how they interact with each other, or how they interact with us.

Water treatment plants treat for solids and bacteria, not estrogen, flame-retardants, or motor oil. They don't even test for those.

Perhaps there is nothing to worry about and I'm just being oversensitive... but dear God, what if I'm not? What if the very water I made my coffee with this morning is going to give me cancer at 40, or a miscarriage at 30? And I did nothing about it when I was 20?

The link below is to a fantastic website that talks about the Great Lakes and some of the issues surrounding water there. It's beautifully put together, so I recommend having a look.
http://waterlife.nfb.ca/

Sorry for the heaviness of this. I do recommend you check out the website, because it is beautifully put together and does a good job at celebrating the life of the Great Lakes and the good things people are doing there.

Disturb us, Lord

2010-02-09T07:39:00.000-06:00

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves.
When our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little.
When we arrived safely because we sailed to close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when in the abundance of things we possess
we have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity
and in our efforts to build a new earth, we have allowed our vision of the new heaven to dim.

Disturb us,Lord, to dare more boldly,
to venture on wider seas.
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes;
and to push into the future
in strength, courage, hope, and love.

-Sir Francis Drake, 1577

Stories II

2010-02-09T07:29:00.000-06:00

"... to a very large extent power consists in the ability to make others inhabit your story of their reality.

... We are, each of us, functions of how we imagine ourselves and of how others imagine us, and, looking back, there are these discrete tracks of memory: the times when our lives are most sharply defined in relation to others' ideas of us, and the more private times when we are freer to imagine ourselves."

-Philip Gourevitch in We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families.

Yoga, Crochet, and the Internet

2010-02-05T11:06:00.000-06:00

This new year, I have started practicing two ancient traditions; yoga and crochet.

I had been intending to take a yoga class for about 5 years but just never quite got to it. My self-image has always included 'nonathletic' as a significant component, so taking an organized exercise class somehow seemed... wrong? Like something other people did but that I did not. Finally, I just decided what the hell and signed up for a class. And it has been good. I may not be 'athletic', but I am contemplative, so yoga works well for me.

And then there's crochet, my other ancient tradition. I was snowed in at a friend's house over New Years and with nothing else to do, decided to learn how to crochet. Turns out this activity was made for me; I get to make creative, unique things but I don't have to be too finicky about the details (like with sewing).

So I now have two new practices that seem to fit my personality and lifestyle well. I'm quite excited to pursue these more.

As I've been learning each tradition, I've been intrequed by the history behind each one. I keep wondering, who was the first person to think of this and WHAT exactly were they thinking? Who was the first person who thought; 'hey, if I arch my back like this, a lot of my stress will go away. I'll call it child's pose' or 'hey, if I wrap this string around this bent twig, I can make this cool thing. I think I'll call it an afghan'.

I am very grateful for these people, whoever they were. And I'm grateful for people who passed on these good ideas to the next generation, modifing them every so often so that centuries later we can still do these things.

I'm also finding it interesting how the internet has helped me with both of these ancient practicies. I can watch youtube videos on how to do a sun saluation and read blogs on how to crochet tea cozies. The interent has been extremly useful for gathering information and ideas.

But, that said, I worry that the internet takes away some of the 'community' from these practices. I don't need to visit my grandma to get crochet tips; I can just google my question. And, I don't need to take a class to learn yoga, the youtube videos are like having one-on-one instruction.

So, I guess the challenge here is to use the internet well; as a tool to get connected to other people and not as a replacement for other people.

Stories

2010-02-04T12:53:00.000-06:00

"I find that one of the most important things we are called to do as peacemakers is to find a style of living. How do we live? ... We should try to find a style of life where we live peacefully, where we can find silence... talk must always come from the place of silence and not from a place of agressiveness and power. ...

It is important to discover what it means to listen to others, to understand them, to understand how people function. It's not easy to see how another person functions. There is no point in just telling people what to do. We must discover how to enter into each other's story so that there is dialogue and mutual trust. That is a beginning. But it's still a long road and each of us has our own road on the journey to peace."

-Jean Vanier, Encountering the Other.

Margaret Atwood and Hope

2009-12-04T13:17:00.000-06:00

So yes, I haven't been posting very much lately. I seem to have lost my voice. But the best way for me to find it again has always been to read an author with a strong one.

So, I recently read After the Flood by Margaret Atwood, a follow up to her book Oryx and Crake. This is a distopian novel along the lines of 1984 or Brave New World. In this book, humans have tampered with genetic modification and global climate controls to the point of mass extinction, called 'the flood'.

Life before the flood was depressing... corporations controlled everything, the rich lived isolated lives in protected bunkers, life revolved around the consumption of goods... Essentially all the extremes in our society were exaggerated 100 fold.
This world is probably so disturbing because it makes sense. You can see how we could get there from here.

As depressing as that is, there is hope in this novel. The main characters are women who survive the flood and find a way to go on.

The flood is a rebirth; a second chance.

And I think that's really what hope is; the option of a second chance.

It's not the idea that we humans will figure out our problems and fix everything; but the idea that life will go on regardless. Even when the structures we have built completely collapse, the sun will shine, plants will grow, and animals will 'be fruitful and multiply'.

Having hope does not mean that I have a plan to fix the world's problems. Having hope means that I trust the the good things in the world to survive even the greatest catastrophe.

And that's helpful, I think.

Remembering

2009-11-11T10:20:00.000-06:00

Today is Remembrance Day and I get to 'work from home' because my office is closed. So essentially, I've been sitting in my pajamas and drinking coffee all morning. I could get used to this :).

Remembrance Day has always been a strange day for me. Remembering the soldiers who fought for my country. Remembering my Opa's stories of the Canadian soldiers who came to his village to liberate them from the Germans. I'm grateful my two homelands could intersect like this.

And I remember the wars and conflicts in other parts of the world, past and present. At the 11th minute of the 11th hour, I pray for peace and security for those with so little of it. And I give thanks for the peace and security I have, and wonder what exactly I'm supposed to do with it.

And I remember saying this poem in Grade 4, with my class in front of the rest of the school:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

— Lt.-Col. John McCrae (1872 - 1918)

Food From Weeds

2009-11-02T21:37:00.001-06:00

I am delighted to report that Garlic Mustard, a ubiquitous weed in most of North America, is entirely edible. Every part of it, from the flowers to the roots.

AND the leaves stay on the plant all winter long; alive and well, and FRESH. There aren't very many fresh green leaves around here in wintertime, so this plant excites me a little bit. Yes, it's a noxious and invasive weed that is threatening almost all wood-land wild flowers... but if we can just get people to start eating it, perhaps that problem will be taken care of for us :).

I already have plans to make fresh local pesto this winter. Oh so excited! A patch even grows under my window at work, so I'm thinking my contribution to the office's Christmas potluck is going to be VERY local.

I'm almost afraid to tell everyone though in case they eat it all before I can get to it. I probably don't have to worry thought. North Americans generally tend to get queasy when they think about eating weeds...

It just delights me that this frustrating little plant can be turned into pesto. All things have their purpose :)

How to Make Cheese... (I think I've finally lost it)

2009-10-29T21:44:00.000-05:00

So somehow I got it into my head that I can make cheese...

I read that most large scale cheese makers find it too inefficient to wait for cheese to curdle so they add petroleum products to allow 'artificial curdling' (read: plasticising).

Even if you're not into organic or whole foods, you have to admit that's gross.

Apparently, once you get the hang of it, it's not that difficult to make cheese. Some soft cheeses take no more effort then making yogurt. And if you have a source of milk (ie a cow or a friend with a cow), it's pretty cheap too (not that I have either).

So, in pursuit of this new hobby, I set off to the library to find books on cheese making. I found a lot of books on cheese eating, cheese cutting, cheese buying, cheese history, love of cheese, but none on cheese making.

Perhaps this was a sign that cheese making was not to be in my future.

But then I found Barbara Kingsolver's newish book: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. It's about her family's attempt to feed themselves with only food they or their neighbours grew. Aside from a tonne of information on farming and the food industry, it also contains a chapter on cheese making.

So all I need is a cheese thermometer, rennet, and some starter cultures. Now I'm just waiting for both my roommates to go out of town so they won't think I'm nuts.

How to Make 7 Apple Pies

2009-10-24T08:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've been slacking on the postings... My apologies and I hope people are still reading!

It's apple season and a friend and I decided to go apple picking. Being the nerds we are, we thought it would be fun to make a pie afterwards. Neither one of us had picked apples or made pies since grade 8, so we were a little excited. We estimated we'd need about 6 apples to make the pie and then 6-12 more apples each to pack with our lunches.

We arrived bright and early (around 11 am) at the apple farm, ready for some apple picking hi-jinx. But as it turns out, at this farm, you don't pay for the apples you pick, you pay $16 for a bag which you will then fill with apples. As many or as few apples as you like. Simple logic says that the more apples you pick the cheaper each individual apple will be.

You can probably guess where this is going...

1 hour later, we had collected 40 pounds of apples. Courtlands, Honey Golds, Jonah Golds, Mackintoshes, and Empires. 30 pounds crammed into our 20 pound bag, and approximately 10 pounds crammed into our stomachs (because you have to sample each kind of apple before you pick a whole slew of them...).

Feeling full to the brim with apples, we went back to my friend's house, looked at our red-green-golden treasure, and thought, "oh my goodness, what were we thinking?"

5 hours later, about half of those apples had been turned into pies. 24 hours later, all but one of those pies had been distributed to friends and family members.

As it turns out, making 7 pies is not all the different from making 1 pie. If you're going to make a pie, you might as well go nuts and make a couple more while you're at it. Your friends will appreciate it.

So now, two weeks later, I am happy to report that I have finally finished all of my apples and all of my pies. Just in time for squash season ;).

The Secret to a Good Commute

2009-10-01T18:32:00.000-05:00

It's pretty much unavoidable when you live in a North American city: you will have to drive to work at some point in your life. Our public transit systems are, in general, pathetic.

So your options are to take public transit and deal with the stress of narrowly missed connections or drive and deal with the stress of traffic.

UNLESS...

You're smart like me.

If you're smart like me, you get a job in the suburbs and live downtown. That way while everyone is stuck in traffic heading downtown to the offices, you can sail by them on the open and empty road heading towards the suburbs.

You can also laugh at their foolishness if you're so inclined.

Hahaha.

Boy I'm cleaver. ;)

(of course the really cleaver thing would be to live in the suburbs and walk to work, but then I'd have to commute to see my friends and go to the farmer's market, etc. I'd also have to live in the suburbs. So I think it all works out in the end)

So you know you're a bio nerd when...

2009-09-28T21:07:00.000-05:00

It really annoys you that spell check won't recognize 'abiotic' as a word.

Your friends don't get your jokes because they all involve puns on the word 'lichen'.

Your work colleagues, however, find your jokes to be hilarious.

The highlight of your week was having a conversation with a geologist about water chemistry.

The only time you really get mad is when you see someone wonder off the designated trail into an endangered species' habitat.

You know that golden rod is not the same as ragweed and has nothing to do with allergens.

You think fungi are cool.

--------
And that pretty much sums up my first week at work.
I think I found a good fit.

I don't know why you say goodbye...

2009-09-22T16:47:00.000-05:00

What with a new job and moving to a different city, I've had to let go of a couple of commitments and volunteer placements. Saying goodbye to those commitments means saying goodbye to a whole lot of people. Every transition comes with a load of goodbyes that never seem to get easier.

Last night was my last shift at the soup kitchen I've been volunteering at. I originally started there just to get out of the house every once and a while. I never thought I'd actually become 'one of the regulars' who knows everybody. But somehow I am.

With working and then commuting from work (I haven't moved yet), I was late and got there just when all the kitchen folk were sitting down to eat. I shared a last meal with everyone, told them what my new job is like, welcomed their well-wishes, and then said goodbye. It was nice to see everyone still chatting and going about the buisness of closing up as I left; to know that this continues without me.

This isn't exactly an epic relocation, so in all likelihood, I will see these people again. I am, after all, only moving 30 km down the road. In good weather I can get from my new house to my parent's house in 25 minutes. Still, it's always sad to realize people you like are no longer going to be a regular part of your life.

At the same time, I'm tremendously excited about moving. New roommates, new community, new neighbours, new friends, new challenges, (and no parents...).

I just have to get through the goodbyes first.

The View From Over Here

2009-09-16T16:33:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for your patience with my health care rambles and for your thoughtful comments. It's just something I've been thinking about because, well, I've had a lot of time to think.

But not any more!

My thinking days are over cause I got a job!

YAY!

Well, to be precise, my days thinking whatever random thoughts I want to think are over. I'm moving back into the world of directed and productive thought (so this blog will probably become a lot less interesting... ;)

So the details:

I'll be working with a municipal conservation authority to develop educational programming for their newly acquired cave system. Caves? Double YAY!

This job also means I get to relocate back to the city where I used to live and where many of my friends still live. Friends? Triple YAY!!!

And, while searching for an apartment, I answered a random ad only to find that the potential roommate looked awfully familiar. We hit it off well, realized we know a lot of the same people, and so figured to take a chance living together. (We haven't quite figured out how we know each other yet though. All we know is that we're both Dutch so it is entirely possible that we're cousins.)

-------------
Ohy, a week ago I was in the depths of despair, figuring I'd wind up a waitress at Tim Hortons, encouraging my kids to smoke so that the local tobacco farmers could stay in business and keep buying coffee.

And now I have a really cool job and a great (and cheap!) place to live.

So how did I do it?

Well, after all that effort I put into networking, networking had nothing to do with it.

I owe it all to Facebook. Somebody told me to "friend" this conservation authority so I could access information on their hiking trails, so I did. The next day, they posted that they were looking for an environmental program developer. And I thought, "hey, that's me!" So approximately 10 seconds later, I sent in my application. A few weeks after that, I was asked to interview, and few weeks after that, I have a job!

Oh yeah, and the best part of this all, I WORK IN A FOREST! Today my boss told me to go take a hike, so I did and they PAID me for it.

So from this side of the job search, the view looks good. For those of you still on the other side, take heart. Things can change in a weekend.

Heath Care Part 2

2009-09-12T13:50:00.001-05:00

Canada has had various forms of state health care since the 1930s and generally, we like it. After 4 generations, it's just ingrained in our psyches that health care should be free. So I'm always a little taken aback when people declare they want a private system (usually these are people with money).

We've also heard horror stories of people in the States losing their houses to pay for medical expenses or being denied care and ending up dead because they don't have insurance. We shutter when we hear stories like that and wonder why Americans would be reluctant to change such a system.

But, many Canadians also think the Americans are being mislead on the wonders of government health care. One woman even went down to Washington to spread the word on what its really like; Wait times, limited procedure options, overworked nurses, etc.

And you should be aware, our system is far from perfect.

When I was in Cambodia, I went to the doctor (many times), and couldn't figure out why he spent so much time explaining everything to me. Then I realized, it's because I was paying for a 1/2 hour appointment, so that is what he gave me. In Canada, your doctor comes in, looks at your chart, tells you what's wrong with you, writes a prescription or a referral, and she's out of there. I once had a physical that lasted all of 5 minutes. I felt... um... ripped off (even though I didn't pay).

But from what I understand, the American system would be very different from our system. For starters, you'll still have private hospitals and the option of private insurance. Whereas we Canadians (in Ontario anyway) have only the public option.

And there are other models of government supported health care that don't have the problems we have. (eg. Sweden, Germany, Finland)

I think this video does a pretty good job of presenting some of the information:

Health Care

2009-09-10T08:41:00.000-05:00

I have a question for all you American readers: What are your thoughts/feelings/opinions on the movement towards state sponsored health care in the US?

The increased debate in the US has opened the door for some debate here in Canada. People who generally keep their negative feelings to themselves for fear of being labeled 'Yankees' have become much more vocal.

I recently had a conversation with a friend from Austria. She's been in Canada for many years now and is essentially "Canadian" in all her opinions.

Except that she hates state sponsored health care.

She doesn't like that her taxes go to pay health care for people she's never met. She hardly ever goes to the doctor yet she has to pay for smokers and hypochondriacs who go all the time.

My argument was this; I don't have any kids, yet I still have to pay for schools. I've also never driven in the North West Territories, yet I have to pay for their roads to be re-surfaced every summer.

That's how society works; there are things we just need in order to have a healthy society; education, roads, and (Canadians would argue) health care, and so everyone contributes to those things.

And, call me crazy, but I like the fact I don't have to get a job at Starbucks just so that I can have health benefits. I like that even though I've been unemployed for 8 months now, I can still go see my doctor for stupid things (like when I've hit my head on a chandelier).

Is it fair? Perhaps not. But it's also not fair that some people get laid off and others don't or that some kids are born with medical problems while others aren't. I appreciate that government health care levels the playing field a bit.

And frankly, I don't see how the current American system is fair either.

Anyone care to enlighten me?

How to make Peach Salsa

2009-09-04T08:45:00.000-05:00

Step 1: At the last minute, decide to go camping with your friends during the up coming long weekend.

Step 2: Go to the grocery store to get food to eat while camping.

Step 3: Notice that they have local tomatoes and peaches on sale because they over stocked and they're about to go bad.

Step 4: Buy 6 tomatoes and 6 peaches with a vague idea of turning them into something that can be canned, frozen, or otherwise preserved for the winter.

Step 5: Get home around 10pm and realize these fruits are far riper then you thought they were and possibly won't last until after your camping trip.

Step 6: Panic and start looking for recipes that use peaches and tomatoes

Step 7: Find a recipe for Peach Salsa in your "Simply in Season" Cookbook.

Step 8: Halve peaches, remove the pits, and broil under high heat for 10 minutes (turning a couple of times) until they're soft and the skins are dark. Allow to cool.

Step 9: Use a very dull knife to chop your very ripe tomatoes. Get frustrated because that doesn't really work. End up with smashed tomatoes but figure it's ok, cause it's salsa.

Step 10: Peal peaches and chop into pieces roughly the size of your tomatoes

Step 11: Realize you don't have any jalapeno peppers, honey, or cilantro (the other ingredients needed).

Step 12: Put peaches and tomatoes in the freezer and go to bed.

Step 13: Early the next morning, while running errands for your mom, stop at a road side farmer's market. Make small talk with your grandmother's old friend (Elsie) who happens to be there selling jalapenos and cilantro. Ask her how much for just 2 jalapenos and 1/2 a bunch of cilantro. Pretend to be surprised when she gives them to you for free. Ask her if she knows where you can get honey around these parts.

Step 14: Stop in at the farm Elsie told you about, tell the farmer Elsie sent you and you're looking for honey. Buy unpasteurized honey that just came out of the hive. Yummy.

Step 15: Go home, measure out 1 cup honey and chop up 1.5 jalapenos and 2 tble spoons cilantro. Add to your defrosted peaches and tomatoes. Stir.

Step 16: Realize this is a lot of Salsa and you don't know how to can things. Get various containers out of the recycling bin, wash them, and distribute salsa in equal portions.

Step 17: Go visit various friends and family members and give them salsa. Tell them to eat with cheese and crackers.

Step 18: Go camping and realize you didn't save any salsa for yourself.

Ways of Knowing

2009-09-03T11:29:00.000-05:00

In our culture at large -- including science -- we see ourselves as the best and only possible way of being intelligent. - Francisco J Varela, Biologist

The biologist will tell you that life is the self-replication of giant molecules from lesser chemical fragments, resulting in the assembly of complex organic structures... The poet-in-biologist will add that life is an exceedingly improbable state, metastable, open to other systems, thus ephemeral -- and worth any price to keep. - E.O. Wilson, Entomologist and Evolutionary Biologist.

---------

As September begins and everyone I know returns to school (this time though, most of my friends are going as teachers, not students), I've been reflecting on education and how our Western midset disvalues unacademic knowledge.

All through university, I learned how to think like a scientist; to reduce everything from DNA to a Great Lake ecosystem to its component parts and figure out how they all fit together.

Then I graduated, travelled around Canada, worked retail, went to Cambodia, travelled around Asia, and came back to Canada.

During this post academic education, I've learned that you can't actually understand (your day-to-day) life the way a scientist understands (the cells in a petri dish) life.

I want very much to grab hold of everything, cut it up, figure out its molecular structure and claim that I know it, but it just doesn't work that way.

How very post modern of me eh?

As a scientist turned community worker, I find my inclination is to dissect the community and divide it into separate parts for labeling and analysis. But doing so just leaves me with a clump of people. Not a community at all.

So I like the idea of there being different ways of knowing. Of the scientist dissecting something to understand the parts and the poet observing the structure to understand (stand in awe of) the whole.

In the end, both of them know this thing in very different yet very valuable ways.

Have You Seen My Ghost?

2009-09-01T17:04:00.001-05:00

This song has been stuck in my head all week.
Hopefully if I transfer it out into the blogging universe it will leave my head for yours... enjoy.

Winter Sleep: Weighty Ghost

Handing Out Tomatoes

2009-09-01T04:15:00.000-05:00

I hold tight to ideologies. Give me a vision of the world that includes peace and justice for all and I'm in.

In the 20s, I would have been a communist handing out brochures. In the 60s, a hippy handing out flowers.

As I find myself in this time and not those, I suppose I'm a grow-your-own-fooder (we haven't been named yet, as far as I know).

I just worry: am I holding on to this ideology because I need one or am I holding on to this because it seems good?

And does it matter either way?

Some of the best people I know are gardeners. This includes my grandmother, my semi-corporate friend, and Russ Ourt of Backyard Harvest (he doesn't have his own website as far as I know).

Based solely on the fact that I'd like to be more like these people, spending some time growing my own food doesn't seem like a bad idea, even if it's not going to change the world.

We Don't Need to Change...

2009-08-30T22:26:00.000-05:00

You know you're getting old when you go to a concert and you're older then the band members (and it's not your niece's grade school recital).

A friend and I went to see some indie bands on Friday. As we were standing in line outside of the concert venue, we realized that most of the other concert goers where being dropped off. At first we didn't really think anything of it, figuring people were dropping friends off and then going to park farther away. Then we realized these were parents dropping off their high school aged children.

Hum. My friend and I looked at each other. This is peculiar. We scanned the line. We were easily 10 years older then most of the other people there. Just what were we getting into here?

My home town is small and bands don't wind up here often, so when they do, I like to support them. Usually this means good music, a night out with friends, and very little money spent. Which is pretty much what happened this time, except that I failed to realize that these particular bands where far more popular amoung the high school set then amoung the 20 somethings.

So this concert turned out to be not quite what we had expected. Not so much listening to good music as a reminder of how much we've matured since our own high school days.

Not that the music wasn't good ... it's just ... where were all the grown ups?

I spent most of the concert keeping an eye on the 16 year old girls in front of me who'd had way too much to drink. I'm not sure what I would have done had they needed help, but I'd like to think their parents appreciate the fact that someone was watching out for them...

As the concert progressed, the youngsters made their way to the front of the hall and the ancient 20 somethings (all 5 of us) congregated in the back, exchanging brief nods and trying to look cool.

Oh, and I got hit on by a very shy 16 year old. It was almost cute...

So anyway, just in case you're interested in the Southern Ontario indie scene, here's some music videos for the bands that played:

Ruby Coast

Meligrove (the lead singer totally talked to me and my friend before his set. We always knew we were cool...)

Tokyo Police Club (This music video should also give you an idea of what everyone at the concert was wearing. You know, the carefully constructed "I shop at thrift stores so that I can be unique and look just like all my peers" look.)

So yes. I would have to say I found the age dynamics of this concert to be more interesting then the music. The musicians were great, the crowd was great, and both groups just fed off each other, building sound and energy as the night went on...

I'm just getting too old for it all.

How to make fruit crisp

2009-08-26T12:29:00.000-05:00

If, like me, you love apple crisp but aren't a fan of peeling apples, this fruit crisp could be for you.

6 cups fruit (any fruit in any combination)
I used 3 cups peaches, 1.5 cups apples, and 1.5 cups blueberries. If you wanted to be really simple, you could just use berries, as you don't have to peel or slice them.
Combine and pour into 10 inch deep dish pie pan. Sprinkle with sugar, depending on the sweetness of the fruit.

Mix
3/4 cup flour
3/4 cup rolled oats
3 tblespoons butter
2 tblespoons oil
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup nuts (optional)
Mix until crumbly. Evenly sprinkle over fruit.

Bake at 375 for about 30 minutes, until fruit bubbles and top is golden brown.

This recipe is from Simply in Season, my new favourite cook book. It's produced by the Mennonite Central Committee and is filled with simple recipes labeled by season.

If you've ever tried to eat locally through a Northern winter, this is an excellent book. There's an abundance of potato and parsnip recipes, essentially the only vegetables available locally from November through March. The summer section also has easy to follow instructions on how to preserve different things for the winter.

But for now, as peaches are a dime a dozen (ok, not quite), I'm going to focus on the summer peach recipes, like whole wheat peach kuchen (I don't know what that is either... I'll let you know how it goes :)

On A Lighter Note

2009-08-22T20:02:00.001-05:00

So yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the road, and walked into a bar. And then I realized, my life is just a joke.

(get it? For more of the same, click here)

Other things that make me laugh (or at least smile):

My cousin's new girlfriend exclaiming "it must be so nice to have such a big family!". Then the 30 assembled members of my family looking around with confused looks on their faces and saying "but no one's here yet".

This joke: Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
Because someone told him to get a long little dogie

My Oma (grandmother) still calling her special dessert 'fluffy stuff' because that's what my cousin used to call it when he was little. He's now in his late teens and embarrassed to no end.

This clip from Milo and Otis. I could watch it all day.

This joke: what's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

Going to pick plums for a food bank and randomly getting the chance to show a bunch of city kids where fruit comes from.

Biology jokes:

Why did the algae and the fungus get married?
Because they took a lichen to each other.

What do a teen aged boy and DNA helicase have in common?
They both want to unzip your jeans (genes).

So a duck walks into a bar with one shoe on. The bartender says "hey, you lost a shoe". And the duck says, "No ... I found one". (not a biology joke but funny just the same).

Canadian swear words, "Hokey Pete" being one of the best.

This remix of a Mary Poppins Classic.

Job Searching Hurts My Soul

2009-08-20T14:32:00.000-05:00

Sigh, ok, so I'm reporting back on my job search club adventures. It turns out you have to go to the club near where you live, not near where you want to work. Since I live in a small rural/industrial town and hope to work for an NGO (generally located in large urban semi-industrial cities), this club may not be very useful.

Also, before you can join the club, you need to 'be assessed' by the government's employment assessment services. Then they refer you to the services you need. Then they also assess you. Then you get to go to the club. Then they too assess you.

So I've had the exact same conversation three times this past week. It goes a little something like this:

Them: "Ok, so you haven't worked since 2007?"

Me: "No, well, yes, well, um I had an unpaid internship in CAMBODIA during all of 2008."

"So you haven't WORKED since 2007?"

Evil glare: "No"

"Are you currently receiving Employment Insurance?"

"No"

"Are you currently receiving social assistance?"

"No"

"So you have no income?"

"No, I don't"

In disbelief: "You've had no income since 2007?"

"Well, my expenses were paid while I was in Cambodia, does that count?"

"No"

"Ok, then, I've had no income since 2007."

They look at me with disdain.

----
For some reason I feel like a societal delinquent because I survive on a very small amount of money. Also because I haven't paid taxes in a year and a half.

(But God bless socialism, I still have unlimited access to health care and employment services.)

It just hurts my soul to be reminded so frequently that our society values people based on how much money they make and not based on who they are or what they've experienced.

Perhaps it's ok to be a delinguent in this kind of society.

Isn't it Ironic, Don't you Think?

2009-08-18T11:54:00.000-05:00

I just realized I have 3 different labels along the lines of 'simplicity'. perhaps I should change that.

And also, my attempts to be simple have become really complicated. Sometimes our environments just are not conductive to simplicity. In these instances, it's probably simplest to be complex.

Confused? Yes, me too.

Smart Assed Answers to "What do you do."

2009-08-17T19:21:00.001-05:00

I've written a similar post to this before but this one is new and improved, polished over 7 long months of the job search.

In the light of the current economic situation, more and more people are struggling to answer the question "What do you do?"

I recently read an article where the writer lamented that he lost his job and his girlfriend left him. Now he can't get another girlfriend because he has no decent answer to the question "what do you do?".

I'm inclined to think this guy just isn't very creative.

But if you find yourself in this boat, here are some answers to the infamous question "What do you do?"

My personal answer: What I can.

Smart ass guy I met at a party last week: As little as possible.

Some slightly longer answers:

I study the current economic trends from the point of view of the newly impoverished (I agonize about the economy while wondering how I'll pay rent next month).

I create a varity of promotional materials. Right now I'm focusing on social advertising using tools like facebook and twitter (I'm supposted to be writing cover letters and networking emails, but usually I spend all day on facebook and twitter).

I'm exploring different ways people define themselves (I've lost all sense of self-worth and am trying to find something other then work to define me).

At the moment, I'm doing an in depth investigation of how print media compares to electronic media at disceminating information (I read want ads all day, online and in the newspaper).

And of course, if it's just not in you to be a smart ass, you can go with the truth, pure and simple:

"I'm taking some time off to really find myself."

Ok, no ACTUALLY, what you should say is something along the lines of "Well, I'm currently in the middle of a job search, trying to get into the X, Y, or Z field. So far, it's been a very rewarding experience."

Hopefully this will lead the other person to say "Oh, I know someone who works in Y field. I should introduce you."

And boom, you've just networked.

Best of luck to all you job seekers as you try to answer that question in a way that works for you.

A Little Too Personal

2009-08-17T16:10:00.001-05:00

I recently received a greeting card made out of recycled newspaper. It's a pretty cool card made by a Kenyan NGO. My card appears to be made out of the personals section.

So just in case you ever wondered what a Kenyan personal ad reads like, wonder no more.

They range from creepy;

I am Chris, a 37-year-old professional seeking to meet a professional lady who is honest and open. She should be single, separated, or divorced, not looking for marriage but a fulfilling discreet love relationship. HIV test a must. If interested, please email...

To really creepy;

Charles is financially independent, driving, and has a Masters degree. Needs a lady to spice up life due to frustrations of marriage. email...

(this guy used his real business email. oh dear)

To sort of sweet, almost;

I will be your Elkannah, the one you have been missing. I will share my joy with you. Jowak, a widower, honest, loving, financially average, well established, is looking for a lady like Hannah, wife of Elkannah (without kid) who wants love, comfort, care. Must be from Mt. Kenya, God-fearing, trustworthy, ready to settle. HIV test a must. If serious, email...

Oh, and back to creepy;

Exclusive services for serious, decent, single ladies seeking everlasting relationships with single, stable, God-fearing gentlemen worldwide. Submit four passport-size colour photos... Include a computer print-out of biodata...

(Human trafficking meets Gattica)

Then there were 2 I just didn't know what to think of;

A 43-Year-Old Graduate who has just arrived from abroad is interested in a lady aged between 30 and 45 years. I am in business and finance. She may be from any race, religion, or country, and financially stable. She should also be honest and upright. HIV test a must. Email...

Opiyo, a 35-year-old, HIV-positive, financially stable man, wants to meet a beautiful HIV-positive lady from Nyanza or Western province. She should be healthy, living, or working in Nairobi...

(not what I was expecting, but very responsible. Props to you Opiyo.)

But once you get past the apparent cultural acceptance of affairs and the HIV status inquiries, these really are no creepier then what you'd find on Craigslist or Lavalife.

I guess Personals are just universally disturbing.

Tricky Little Paradox

2009-08-13T10:06:00.000-05:00

Culture shock has got me once again.

Well, to be specific, reverse culture shock has got me once again.

The thing with culture shock, reverse or otherwise, is that you don't usually see it coming. You don't realize you're in it until you're deep in it. Then it knocks you down like a tidal wave.

Like you find yourself screaming at some poor taxi driver who doesn't deserve it, and your mind says "Just what do you think you're doing?" but you keep doing it anyway.

Or you haven't done any sort of job searching for a while because you don't want to get 'stuck' in a western corporation that's destroying the world, while at the same time, you think the people who work at North American NGOs are nuts, lacking a firm grasp on reality.

While this is a genuine concern, the actual issue here is that I don't know how to reconcile what I now know about the world with my current suburban surroundings. They don't mesh and I don't know how to make them.

It's important to note that you don't just step off the plane and feel these things.

In reality, you go about trying to build a life for yourself and find that despite your best efforts, it's just not working the way you were expecting it to work.

Sigh, so what do you do?

Realize that culture shock is a feeling, not reality.

If these feelings are keeping you from doing what you want to do, well, then you just need to ignore them and do what you want to do.

I came across this quote from Barry Lopez that talks about how to live with contradictions. It seems to resonate with my experience of culture shock.

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."

Career Advice for Generation Y

2009-08-12T10:55:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about Generation Y ever since my friend Rachael posted about us on her blog (One Unbelievable 20-Something Adventure).

Some of the feedback as Generation Y enters the work force is that we're spoiled, demanding, and expect to much to soon.

As a default member of Generation Y, I am forced to wonder: am I spoiled? Do I have unrealistic expectations of work? Am I unwilling to 'pay my dues'?

I'm not sure. I hate to think I fall into this mould. I (like all Gen Yers) like to think I'm different.

I'm sure you heard of the whole 'quarter life crisis' thing. I always thought it was just crap spoiled kids went through when they realized they weren't going to be wealthy and famous by the time they were 30.

Perhaps there's more to it.

As children, we Gen Yers were told to expect the world. "You can do anything! You will find fulfillment! You are special, nothing can get in your way!".

Perhaps the quarter life crisis is the struggle to come to grips with the fact that this isn't true. And perhaps the work force is less then impressed with us because we haven't yet given up on these ideas.

Every person is unique and no one is completely defined by their generation's trends, but there are some general pitfalls Gen-Yers seem prone to fall into.

Check them out here: Can You Handle the Truth? 10 Tips About Careers (That No One Ever Tells You!)

A new phase in job searching

2009-08-11T09:08:00.000-05:00

My unemployment has stretched on a bit longer then I would have liked... it's getting frustrating, I must admit. I have found a part time temporary position in my field which should allow me to resume build and network but it's only a few hours a week, so I'm still looking.

I'm not sure if this is due to my Calvinist up bringing, my general temperament, or my Westerness, but I keep thinking my unemployment is due to my complete incompetence as a human being. If only I were smarter/more outgoing/braver/less cautious/less picky/just generally better, I would have a job and I would love it.

I think it's easy to let our circumstances determine who we are. As in "I have a job, therefore, I am a valuable person". Or "I don't have a job, therefore, I am an incompetent person". We do the same things with boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses.

When I first started job searching I did a barrage of personality testing. One of the tests came back with a list of obstacles people with my personality generally face while job searching.

They are as follows:

Failing to move from the conceptual/planing stage to actual action
Setting unrealistic goals/deadlines
Failing to follow through on details (thank you notes, follow up calls)
Avoiding making decisions
Waiting for the 'perfect job'
Getting overwhelmed with possibilities
Missing opportunities because of reluctance to network
Hesitant to 'sell' myself in interviews (I've managed to get around this by selling my ideas as opposed to my self.)
Being overly influenced by what others want

I, being cocky and young, ignored these.

But now looking back I see how true they were. My whole search has been characterized by these traits.

So, what am I going to do about it?

I'm moving on to a new method of job searching: the job search club.

You wake up every day, get dressed, go to an office, meet with other people who don't have jobs, listen to a career coach talk about something career-ish, and then spend the afternoon calling people, emailing people, making lists, finding networking events, etc.

I realize I need externally imposed structure in my life. Left to my own devices, I spend hours and hours thinking about the perfect job search, the logic of jobs, questioning why people put so much value in their job, the stupidity of capitalism, etc. And essentially no time actually looking for a job.

So here I go in the next stage of job searching: Joining a club.

And the best part: it's free!
(Because the government has to at least look like it's trying to help people find jobs in these though economic times.)

-----------------------------------
And in other news, I've made it into someone else's blog! Well, my hand did. Look for it in the second picture.

Best Prayer EVER!

2009-08-05T08:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, this isn't really the best prayer ever but I thought it was cute. Enjoy.

P.S. I think it was Anne Lammont who said the mark of spiritual maturity is when half of your prayers are "Oh F#*!" and the other half are "Oh thank God".

Job Interview Tips

2009-08-03T10:18:00.000-05:00

Here's some pointers on job interviews I've picked up this past week.

1. The hours before the interview:

Do something you love to do. Garden, go to the gym, paint, whatever.

I love to read and before my last interview, I spent some time reading my book on 'radical community development'. I got so engrossed, I completely forgot about the interview and thus about the anxiety. I got really passionate about the ideas in the book, which got my brain working, which made me very enthusiastic and creative when I got into the interview.

You may not be a reader, but what does get you excited and thinking? Movies? Music? Drawing? Dancing? Debating? Scrap booking? Singing? Yodeling? Yoga? Writing? Cooking? Sports?

Try to do that before your interview. You'll feel like yourself and you'll come across as a genuine and creative person (because you will be).

2. The minutes before your interview:

If you sit in the waiting room thinking "don't be nervous, don't be nervous", well you will be. Instead, sit in the waiting room thinking about something completely unrelated to the interview. Something that gets you excited. Like the movie clip you just watched on your ipod while sitting in the parking lot. Or the rock wall you scaled at the gym an hour ago. Or the awesome pot roast that's in your oven, right this very moment. Or about how a butterfly in Brazil can cause a typhoon in the Philippines. Whatever floats your boat.

3. During the actual interview:

I talked to a woman who's a hiring manager at a bank. She said she hates interviewing people under 25 because we're so self-centered. 10 minutes into the interview and we're asking about benefits, when we can expect our first raise, how long it'll be until we're in a management position.

She said she'd hire someone with enthusiasm in a second, even if they had no discernible math skills.

Her advice on how to ace a job interview: Be an over-enthusiastic, idealistic, sparkle-eyed dork. The interviewer will be so shocked to have someone who actually wants to work for them, they'll probably hire you. Skills can be taught but it's hard to create enthusiasm in someone who just wants to make a lot of money.

____

So basically, be authentic and be yourself. Remind yourself of who you are before you get to the interview. Think about what excites you and gets you passionate and then be that passionate person.

It the job you're interviewing for fills you with dread and you can't muster up even an ounce of enthusiasm before the interview, why are you even there?

The Parking Spot God

2009-07-31T11:46:00.000-05:00

"...self-involved spirituality; a spirituality that prays for a parking space but drives past poor people stranded in the rain." Dave Andrews in Not Religion, but Love.

This quote remind me of something Richard Dawkins wrote in his book The God Delusion. I forget what it said exactly, but it was something about theists thinking that God is a traffic coordinator, sitting up in heaven with the sole purpose of making sure they get a good parking spot.

And I wonder... I had a job interview the other day and was anxious about finding a parking spot, so I prayed, and I got one a block from where my interview was. So I thanked God, then added, I know it's such a trivial thing but thanks for helping me forget my anxiety about it all.

I feel guilty when I pray for things like parking spaces. I don't think God really cares where I park. I do think he cares about me, just not so much about where I put my CO2-spewing pile of steel. I think he cares more about if I'm paying attention to him and to the people on the side of road. Or if I'm using busyness/nervousness/self doubt/lack of parking as an excuse to not pay attention.

But I'm curious what other people's thoughts on the 'parking spot God' are. Does God personally provide for such trivial things? Is that all he's there for? Or are we missing something?

-----------------------------------------

P.S. This could also be called the Ice Cream God... a while ago, I was working at a hotel as a housekeeper and feeling miserable about it. So I prayed, "God, This really really sucks. Can you make it better... like with ice cream or something?"

The next day a family checked out early, leaving all their food behind. This was annoying... until... in the back of a freezer, I found an unopened carton of Double Chocolate Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream. My coworker and I sat down, ate the whole carton, and had a fantastic time.

So here's the question: did the ice cream come from God? I'm inclined to think it did, but then, it boggles my mind to think that the creator of the universe wanted to give me ice cream. Perhaps I should have asked for inner peace ... or a life time of good parking spaces?

Pessimism

2009-07-31T11:34:00.000-05:00

"... many of us have our naive optimism knocked out of us very quickly. Our naive optimism is replaced by a cynical pessimism and every knock we take from then on reinforces an increasing sense of scepticism. Some of us never get out of it: we are left paralysed by an overwhelming sense of pointlessness. We need to learn to grow into a new level of maturity. A maturity which neither rejects faith in the possibility of change, nor ignores the facts that say change is impossible; which acknowledges the difference between dreams and realities, yet recognizes the difference God can made in turning Utopian dreams of true community into practical reality. We must learn to live as if the impossible is possible, because though there are no guarantees that everything will change if we do, it is absolutely certain that nothing will change if we don't."

David Andrews in Not Religion, but Love

The Encyclopedia of Country Living

2009-07-29T12:41:00.000-05:00

A few years ago I went to a book store with my roommate and laughed at her as she bought The Encyclopedia of Country Living by Carla Emery. This book is filled with handy information about how to grow parsley, keep goats happy, dye easter eggs with your own homemade dyes, and help your cow give birth (seriously).

I laughed because at the time we were living in a city and renting a house with a very small backyard. Not much room for chickens and cows, although she did manage to grow some pumpkins.

But now folks, the laugh's on me. My former roommate is moving to a large city in the middle east in the hopes of mastering environmental engineering (her blog here), while I am trying to find an internship at an organic/biodynamic farm.

My friend was kind enough to leave me her encyclopedia so that I could have a handy reference book for my new country living life. She figures she won't need it in her apartment in the desert.

So yes, this is what I've decieded to do: farm. But not just farm, farm bio-dynamically (ie in an environmentally responsible way).

Why? Well, because over the past months a few things have caught my attention: working with subsistence farmers to mitigate the effects of climate change, developing policy that allows for more sustainable food production systems, and creating more sustainable cities that can feed themselves.

So actually knowing how to farm (and not just sort of knowing a bit about farming because I took a course in undergrad) seems like a good idea.

Plus, I've been helping with some community garden projects and have really enjoyed getting my hands dirty. It's nice to work hard and then go home and pray for rain. The balance feels good.

So we'll see what happens.

P.S. stay tuned for some exciting How To's from my new book! Like how to can fish, kill a turkey, grow Christmas trees, and butcher a cow if you don't have a hoist (you really don't want to know)

KI Media Blog

2009-07-28T09:21:00.000-05:00

A blog dedicated to publishing sensitive information about Cambodia.
KI Media

Cambodian media is pretty restricted so I was glad to find this alternate source of news.

A tonne of information and a great way to keep up with what's going on in everyone's favourite South East Asian country (or maybe just my favourite?).

That's me in the spot light... Not Religion, but Love

2009-07-24T19:28:00.000-05:00

"Relating to others comes naturally to some people; but not to all of us- certainly not to me. I'm more of an 'ideas' person than a 'people' person. I'm into people because I think it's a good idea."

Dave Andrews in Not Religion, but Love; Practicing a Radical Spirituality of Compassion.

I'm currently reading this book and am quite enjoying it. A lot of good ideas about how people who like Jesus need to become less religious and more loving (hence the title of the book).

Andrews spent the 70s in India working in a shelter for western backpackers who'd come to India seeking enlightenment and ended up with heroin addictions. He and his wife later started a shelter for Indians with heroin addictions. This turned into a community development organization run by the former heroin addicts.

Like Andrews, I am an idea person, so I like reading about ideas. I like thinking about ideas. I like blogging about ideas. I like watching other people apply ideas in real life and then having ideas about how they can improve their practice.

I like this book because Andrews actually applies the ideas he has himself, even though it's not his natural preference. This is something I think I need to work on.

The main idea in this book is that you can't have a healthy Christ-based spirituality if you're not relating to people in distress (ie, the hungry, the poor, the imprisoned, the drug addicted, etc). But Andrews goes beyond the ideas to what this might actually look like.

So if you're wondering how to move away from the ideas of your faith and into actual practice, I recommend this book.

Strawberry Communion

2009-07-22T14:08:00.000-05:00

Strawberries seem to be a recurring theme in my life these days...

Strawberry Story One

I went strawberry picking at my aunt's friend's cousin's farm with a friend recently. Despite being mistaken for a girl I went to grade school with and then being updated on how successful everyone from my grade school is now (oh small towns), I had fun digging around in the fields.

I was shocked by the abundance of berries. Apparently, a late frost wiped out the first round, so this second round has been twice as fruitful and sweet. Also, as it was the last weekend of berry picking, we paid by the box instead of by weight, so got a lot of berries for very little money.

Picking my own local berries from an old family friend seemed like a very sustainable idea to me indeed.

______________________________________________________
Strawberry Story Two

A few weeks ago, I was at a peace building ceremony hosted in partnership by local churches and the First Nations community. The leaders explained that strawberries were sacred to the Iroquois because they are one of the first berries to appear in spring and are shaped like hearts. Thus they've come to symbolize sustenance and life. When eating your first strawberry of the spring, you should eat the whole thing (including the green parts) and say a thank you to the creator for creating life and letting spring come again.

When the Iroquois were introduced to Catholicism by French priests,they incorporated their beliefs about strawberries into the European communion practice. Today, Iroquois Catholics will often use strawberry wine or just plain old strawberries for communion. Which is pretty cool, I think.

Exploring

2009-07-20T20:23:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to learn how to use blogger, I've uploaded some pictures I took on my 'scenic drive' the other day. (let's hope this works...)

Corn

A bridge

A farm

A flower

(Yay! It worked!)

The Scenic Route

2009-07-17T09:14:00.000-05:00

It was my birthday a few days ago and I think I've finally matured enough to enjoy my birthdays without stressing out about how many people are going to come to my party...

So... what I did...

I went to visit a friend a few cities over and decided to take the scenic route through farm country. Much to my delight, I came across a road called Scenic Drive and decided to follow it for as long as I could. This navigation method (ie I like the name of this road so I'll drive on it) took a little bit longer, but served to lead me to many interesting places I've never been before.

For example, Paris, Delhi, Warsaw, Cambridge, Dublin, and Oxford. These are all towns in southern Ontario named after cities in other parts of the world. (We're not very creative with our names over here.)

So, I stopped at a thrift store in Paris where I found a dress with the original store tags still on it. And low and behold, it fit perfectly! And cost $3. Just a broken zipper. No problem, I thought, I'll get my Oma to teach me how to sew a new zipper. (Or more accurately, my Oma will sew on a new zipper while I play with the dog).

But, unknown to me, my parents had decided to buy me a sewing machine for my birthday, so I got home, showed them the dress and the zipper, and they laughed and brought out my birthday present. What excellent timing.

I also stopped at a second hand book store where I wanted to buy every single book they had. The owner appears to have similar literary taste to mine... He also had a 'question of the day' and if you knew the answer you got a free coffee. The question: What is Anne of Green Gables' actual last name?

The answer, which I knew: Shirley. So I got a free coffee (or a $30 coffee and free books... it depends how you look at it).

A free coffee and a $3 dress on my birthday all because I took the scenic route. How delightful.

I also had a nice BBQ with my family, met some friends at a pub, and watched an old movie in the park (which the city hosts every Thursday in the summer).

All in all, an excellent day!

The place of garment factories

2009-07-08T13:10:00.001-05:00

Garment factories in Cambodia... These places aren't sweat shops. Still I don't want to work at one and neither do most of the Cambodians I know. People are very creatively coming up with ways to avoid them.

One family I know got a micro loan to buy fabric looms. Their daughters are able to make about $50 a month weaving silk at home.

I also know a rural family that makes flip flops on contract. Their kids all stay at home and they make about $30 a month (they also fixed my shoes for free!).

One farmer got a micro loan for a pig, which he turned into 3 pigs, which he turned into multiple pigs, a chicken coop, a fish pond, and an integrated sustainable farm he can earn a lving from.

Part of the problem in Cambodia is a lack of markets for rural farmers: they have no where to sell the crops they grow. The NGO I worked with is in the very early stages of starting an organic food sharing program (like CSA groups here): fresh produce direct from the farmer to the wealthy Phnom-Penhian.

$30-$50 a month isn't a lot of money, but people working in factories usually make about $60 and after rent and food, are able to send home about $30. So these options are actually viable alternatives.

There are ways for rural populations to earn money: they don't need to go live in slums and work in factories (even if the factories aren't sweat shops). People want to stay in their communities with their families and improve their lives at home. Perhaps we all need to get a little more creative at figuring out ways to let that happen.

The thing is, the Cambodian government isn't really interested in improving rural living conditions. They are interested in getting kick backs from international corporations to let them open factories.

Western* governments aren't really interested in improving 2/3rd world* rural living conditions either: if people stop coming to work in factories, we might have to pay more for our jeans and shoes. Then we might stop buying them. Then there might be a recession. (oh wait...). Or, the rural population could become educated and take 'good' jobs from us and then there might be a recession (oh wait...).

Garment factories are a way for rural, uneducated people to earn money. But is it the best way? Is it a sustainable way? Garment factories are part of a process to building developed countries. But we must not pin all our hopes on them or let them be the only form of development in the 2/3rds world.

----------------------
*2/3rds world is a newish term for the "3rd world". The 3rd world used to mean the part of the world that wasn't capitalist and developed (1st world), or communist (2nd world). Because 2/3rds of the world is impoverised, it's a logical term.

*I usually use "the west" or 'the north' to refer to the 1/3rd world: Canada, America, Most of Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, etc. (even though Japan could hardly be called western, and Australia and New Zealand are in the south east...)

Sacrifice

2009-07-06T14:01:00.000-05:00

Barbara Ehrenreich in her book Nickel and Dimed

(Guilt) isn’t that what we’re supposed to feel? But guilt doesn’t go anywhere near far enough; the appropriate emotion is shame – shame at our own dependency, in this case, on the underpaid labor of others. When someone works for less pay than she can live on – when, for example, she goes hungry so that you can eat more cheaply and conveniently – then she has made a great sacrifice for you, she has made you a gift of some part of her abilities, her health, and her life. The “working poor,” as they are approvingly termed, are in fact the major philanthropists of our society…To be a member of the working poor is to be an anonymous donor, a nameless benefactor, to everyone else.

What Should We Do, Part II: Where am I Wearing?

2009-07-06T12:48:00.000-05:00

We wanted to know how to show we cared and nobody told us.

Kelsey Timmerman, Where Am I Wearing?(p236)

In his book, "Where Am I Wearing", Kelsey Timmerman travels the world to see where his clothes came from and to meet the people who made them. Stops include Honduras, Bangladesh, Cambodia, China, and New York.

He takes a very humble approach, jumping through corporate hoops to get factory addresses and using local connections to meet with garment workers over tea, bowling, and roller coasters.

He visits garment workers in their houses and learns about how they live: 5-7 people per room, a few changes of clothing, no actual 'bathroom'.

He doesn't come away spouting fair trade or making vows of poverty in solidarity with the poor. He comes away with the understanding that Westerners are consumers and Southerners are producers. If corporations had their way, the two would never meet. Westerners would buy sandals and jeans not knowing anything about who was making them, Southerners would make sandals and jeans not knowing anything about who was buying them.

Getting to know the workers has forever changed the way he looks at his clothes. He doesn't look at his Tevas and think "what a stylish choice I made", but instead, "I wonder if Dewan has been able to get time off to see his son recently?" (I made that up, I don't actually know what he thinks :)

But this I think, is where change begins. Although Timmerman accepts his role as a consumer, he has stopped being a mindless one. This happened when he got himself out of his isolation and into relationship with people different from himself.

He says: "there isn't a single worker who makes my clothes who lives a life that I would find acceptable. I'm not sure we can handle knowing how most of the world lives ... We need to come to terms with this... If we continue to look at the lives and lack of opportunities of garment workers through the lens of our own lives of relative limitless opportunity, the conversation can't begin. ... It's easy to inspire pity and to cry sweatshop. What's not easy is coming to terms with the context in which the factories and workers exist and initiating dialogue based on this." (p235)

Although this book is somewhat simplistic and ignores some significant issues (such as the sustainability of producing 20 million Nike sneakers a month, or the logic of a global economic system that requires 20 million new Nike sneakers a month), I'm impressed by what it does cover and by his desire to have real conversations. This book is an eye opener and a conversation starter. It is not a thesis or a detailed analysis.

Here's Timmerman's blog if you're interested in more information

-----------------------------------------
p.s. can someone tell me how to post links in blogger? when I use the 'insert link' button, the links don't show up.

How to make Chai Tea

2009-07-03T11:37:00.000-05:00

If only I had known how rediculously simple it is to make Chai tea... oh well now I do... here's the reciepe I found on someone else's blog, but now can't find... my apologizes to whoever you are!

1 black tea bag
1 3-inch piece of cinnamon stick (or a dash of ground cinnamon)
2 cups milk
2 Tbsp honey
1 tsp vanilla
1/8 tsp ground ginger
1/8 tsp ground cardamom

In a small saucepan combine tea bag, cinnamon stick and 1/2 cup water. Bring to boil. Remove from heat. Cover and let sit for 5 minutes. Remove and discard tea bag. Add and stir together all other ingrediants. Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture is heated through (do not boil).

so there you go!

I'm not a very precise cook, I tend to just add a bit of this and a bit of that. It worked fine for this recipie, so my advice is to just go nuts!

Horrid Walk Things

2009-07-03T08:38:00.001-05:00

I just got back from my first canoe trip in the wilds of Canada (ok, it wasn't really wild, just 2 hours north of Toronto, but still).

One of my canoe-mates is from England and had never spent a night outside of a city before. Her friends decided she needed 'a true Canadian experience' and decided to take her on a canoe trip. They needed a fourth person and I was nominated.

I've camped before and I've canoed before so I had two up on my English friend.

However, I've never portaged before. In case you don't know, portage comes from the French word 'portager' which roughly translates as "to carry all your camping gear through the woods while wearing a canoe as a stylish hat".

My English friend, being unfamiliar with canoe terminology, referred to portages as 'those horrid walk things'. Which made me think, if the British had colonized Northern Canada and not the French, perhaps portages would now be referred to as 'horrid walk things'. Which would be a more accurate description, I think.

So yes, now I've done that. And it was everything I imagined it to be. Difficult, exhausting, muddy, bug-infested, and oddly satisfying.

I know people go into the woods to 'commune with nature' and 'get back in touch with the earth' but I find myself so caught up in the basics of survival I don't really appreciate the natural world around me. I guess I'm just a city girl.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a sissy. I don't mind dirt under my fingernails or not bathing for a few days. I don't even mind the mosquitoes that much. I just find cities more inspiring then woods. I like trees, I like plants, I like animals, and I think we need more of those things in cities. Its just that planning for weeks ahead, driving for hours, and then using every ounce of strength I have to get my canoe to a campsite so that I can 'live simply' for a few days, seems counter-intuitive to me...

But that said, I had a grand time. Nothing bonds you to other people faster then being lost in the wild together, setting up tents in the pouring rain, and then spending 3 hours trying to start a fire with wet wood. Oh the joys.

What Should We Do?

2009-06-23T15:04:00.000-05:00

As I've gotten to talk about Cambodia and what's going on there a few more times, the question of "what should we do?" has come up many times. The questioners have ranged from children desiring to help those 'kids-without-shoes' on the other side of the world, to mothers wondering what our responsibilty is to these people, to pastors wondering how to get their congregation motivated to get involved.

I try to explain that these issues are more complicated then gathering up shoes and shipping them off or even writing letters to federal government.

I think "what should we do?" is best answered with the question: "what are you doing?" If something I said made you uncomfortable or made you concerned about poverty, then yes, do something! But you don't have to do something on the other side of the world. There are problems of poverty in every city in the world.

Sharon Duremdes, a Filopina theologan said "We are overwhelmed by the challenges in our isolation".

So, the first step is, I think, to get out of our isolation. Not an easy task for a westerner. Some simple first steps: join a community group. Talk to people you don't normally talk to. Go to places where people you don't normally hang out with hang out. Such places could include: a soup kitchen, a church in the poor part of town, a hole in the wall cafe in the poor part of town, a community garden.

Sylvia Keesmaat (another person I'd like to be like when I grow up) encourages people to expose themselves to different ways to live, to different traditions. Doing so will let our imaginations run wild until a vision strikes us and we are unable to do anything else.

Neeraj Mehta says: "As you do the work and make the sacrifices it takes to draw closer and closer to people, to individual issues, to the issues of a community, the question of “what to do?” becomes easier to answer". (Proximity: Relocation Doesn’t Equal Relationship)

Fighting for the Right to be Cold!

2009-06-22T23:14:00.000-05:00

Sheila Watt-Cloutier knows my name!!!

If you didn't know, Sheila Watt Cloutier is an Inuit grandmother who works to educate the world about the impacts climate change is having on Inuit people. She got the UN to acknowledge climate change as a human rights violation, threatening the way of life of indigenous people all over the world. She was also nominated for a Nobel prize but lost to Al Gore.

I ran into her while in the food line at a conference I was at recently. I thanked her for her encouraging presentation, and she said, "thank you Alison, I'm glad you were encouraged". (Cause I was wearing a name tag, you see, that's how she knew my name).

So that's all my contact with her, cause I was intimidated and ran away. Also, I figured she was probably tired and just wanted to get her lunch.

But wow, when I grow up, I want to be like her!

She has such grace in the face of such injustice. She encouraged us 'immigrant Canadians' to learn from the native inhabitants of our land.

There are approximately 155000 Inuit people in the Artic, most of them still heavily reliant on traditional hunting. They're tied to their land in a very real way and have seen the effects of climate change far more rapidly then the rest of us have. New fish species are moving north as the waters get warmer. Polar bears are dying as ice melts and they're cut off from the mainland. Seasoned hunters who've lived their whole lives in the cold are falling through the ice because it's changing in ways they're unfamiliar with.

Yet despite these changes and threats to their livelihoods, she told us of the Inuit elders who insisted the Inuit activists reach out to the larger world instead of striking out. She credits their patience and peace to their deep connection to the land and the spiritual grounding it gives them.

In her words, "if we stay connected to the rhythms and connections of nature, we will prevail".

And so she reached out with grace and love, inviting the Canadian government, the American government, and the UN to fight climate change with the Inuit. And they ARE (starting to...).

She insists that Northern Indigenous peoples must be more then window dressing in the fight against global warming. They must infuse their culture and values into the movement, giving it a peace and patience that is sometimes missing.

Her advice: We need to be courageous and wise. We need to learn more, and as we learn, the answers will come as to what to do. The power is not with academics and politicians, the power is with us. Public opinion becomes public policy.

Although we're not all the way there yet, I'm encouraged to see that another way is possible. We can reach out instead of striking out, we can be courageous and wise.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

more info: http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=92964652975&h=dcBNN&u=A0JaD&ref=nf

(edited and reposted because I spelt Cloutier incorrectly)

and yet more stuff on networking: the evil and the enlightening

2009-06-22T18:07:00.001-05:00

So first, the negative, smozzy side of networking I find gut wrenching:

The Onion CEO funeral

(btw, the onion is satire, for those of you who don't know)

And second, the possitive side of networking I find powerful and life affirming...

I recently attended a conference for Christians of various stripes (but mostly mainline) and politics (but mostly liberal) from all across Canada. The common demoninator: a passion for social justice, environmental sustainability, and God.

So refreshing to be reminded that I'm not alone. How absolutely delightful to pray and sing with approximately 400 other people who are torn up about the state of the world and the church's ignorance of so many issues.

And I have approximately 400 other new contacts. This is when networking is fun and encouraging. Natural, if you will.

Something to the Process

2009-06-15T10:58:00.000-05:00

Before I went to Cambodia, I was reminded of the pentacost, when the holy spirit descended on the apostales and all of a sudden, they could speak multiple languages. I thought to myself, wow, that would be fantastic! God, if you want to do that for me, I'm all in.

Shockingly, it didn't work.

But, I was talking to another expat in Cambodia who confessed she'd prayed the same prayer. She concluded, however, that there must be something to the process of language accaquision that we needed to learn.

And she was right, there was something to getting to know my tutor, making a fool of myself in the market, and accidently ordering people fried rice when I wanted pineapple fried rice. I developed an ability to laugh at myself, admit my weakness, and ask other people to compensate for my failings without feeling ashamed. Valuable lessons indeed.

Now, in this job search process I've learned something yet again. It would be great if God had snapped his fingers and handed me a job, but apparently, there's something to this process he wants me to learn.

I realized I am motivated by deadlines, by knowing that this will end on "this exact day". I can pace myself and give 200%, knowing that after that date, I can relax. The problem with the job search is that there is no deadline. You don't know when it will be over.

So now I've been finding alternative things to motivate me: the prospect of meeting new and interesting people if I go to this networking event, free coffee after my 12th trip to the job search cafe, or a leasurely bike ride after I've made a networking contact...

And it has completely changed my focus on life. I value relationships and friendships now, small accomplishments, personal milestones. I now consider it a good day if I've met one new person and had a nice conversation with them.

I've realized the key to maintaining momentum (and mental health) during an extended job search is to keep trying new things. If you assume your life is over because you don't have a job and that it won't start again until you do, well, then you're setting yourself up for some difficult and stressful times. So, I'm attempting to keep my life going, joining committees, volunteering, going to conferences, etc.

The only problem is, I now have very little time left for my job search...

A thought on the process:

She's got treasure to unearth and plot lines to find. Suffering waits for her, and recompense too. Ending and mending, squaring and cubing. There she goes! Eyes wide open, lurching blindly into the future. -Carol Shields, Block Out.

So here I go again...

Cool Blog

2009-06-10T11:38:00.000-05:00

I recently found this blog by Eric Sheptock, a homeless man in Washington DC. Very cool and a perspective the middle class often misses out on.

Here's the link:

http://streatstv.blogspot.com

The Environmental Movement

2009-06-08T12:10:00.000-05:00

One critique of the environmental movement I read recently accused environmentalists of thinking like this: "the urgency is so great, it's ok for me to ignore normal laws of social conduct: I can be disrespectful, arrogant, and ugly towards those who oppose me."

The article suggested people who behave this way aren't actually trying to convert people to their cause or help the environment; they're trying to build up a self- identity as a counter-cultural revolutionary, a unique individual.

My first thought was ouch, that's harsh. My second thought was, is that why I do this?

I think the environmental movement has become sort of, um, evangelical? One group of people imposing their beliefs on another.

As a result, people get defensive when you suggest they change their light bulbs or when you raise an eyebrow at their SUV.

I had a roommate once who thought I didn't like her because she didn't recycle. Really, I didn't care. I did go through the garbage and pull out recyclables, but I knew she had her reasons for not recycling, so I did it solely for my own conscious, not trying to shame her or make her feel guilty. But because people have gotten so used to being judged for that stuff, they automatically think 'green-minded' people are trying to guilt them.

So why is the environmental movement a guilt trip?

Is it because those of us in it are trying to establish our own identities and not actually help the environment? I'm trying to figure out if my motives are at all related to this...

How do we get to a point where all of us, 'uber-environmentalists' and 'lay people', can move past the guilt and start doing something constructive?

Nuns, meditation, and photography

2009-06-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

So approximately 6 months ago I was in Laung Prabang in Northern Laos, and I stumbled upon a photography exhibt of Buddhist nuns at a meditation retreat. And as I looked at the photos, something happened to my soul. I felt a very deep peace I hadn`t felt, well ever. So since then I`ve been trying to figure out what exactly made my soul so delighted.

I thought maybe I should I be a nun? I`m not Buddhist, so becoming a Buddhist nun didn`t feel quite right. And I`m not Catholic; while I do know many wonderful Catholics, and I do think the church is changing, I really don`t think I could submit to the total authority of this man-made institution. Protestants don't have nuns, essentially because they believe everyone can connect with God and you don`t need to sperate yourself from the world inorder to do that. So maybe I don't need to be a nun...

Maybe I should meditate more? I`d been thinking about that for a while and have dabbled a bit, so yeah, maybe I`ll meditate more regularly and seriously...

Then a few days ago, I was in the Canadian Museum of Modern Photography. And there it was again. Oh! I thought, It`s not nuns or meditation. It`s photography!

Or more specifically, art.

For me, walking through galleries has always been a spiritual experience. The artists attempting to explain the world or a part of the world, the viewers contemplating in near silence, their attention temporaraily focused almost entirely on one thing. I think the whole process is a miniature pilgramage, a journey towards a new way of thinking and of being in the world.

I have to say this is a relief. I really didn`t want to become a nun...

Guns and jobs

2009-05-29T15:54:00.001-05:00

I recently went to an anti-weapon protest.

Wait, Canada doesn`t have weapons, you say.

That's right, the average Joe on the street does not have a firearm. However, some city governments (Ottawa) do allow weapons manufacturers to have weapons shows (targeting military officials) on publicly owned property, even when there are by-laws to prevent such things. So I went to protest the fact that the government was allowing weapons companies to break city laws.

Now, I`m a 'nice person' and I have a sweet, innocent looking face. I`ve gotten away with a lot because of it. I found it interesting that while many of the protesters received looks of scorn and disdain, I received looks of pity and concern. As if, "oh that young woman was lead astray, she just needs to get a job, poor thing."

I found the whole thing rather irritating.

At one point, I was standing with two other people, all of us nice looking Canadians, all of us fairly recent university graduates. One man yelled across the parking lot: "Why don`t you go get jobs! benefit society! Don`t you realize the whole reason you're alive is because these companies made weapons to keep you safe?"

My first thought was dude, there's a recession! We're working on it!

My second, and more poignant, thought was yeah, I do realize. I do know the role weapons and war have played in creating my current life. My grandparents were liberated from the Nazis by Canadian solders who had guns. And I have family members in the military.

But I also know the role weapons and war have played in creating the current lives of many other people. Every single person I met in Cambodia had a personal and gut wrenching story to tell about weapons; about how someone had been shot in front of them, about being afraid to walk across a field because of land mines, about having to run into the jungle every time they heard a bomber jet flying overhead on the way to Vietnam. 30 years later, Cambodia is still dealing with the aftermath of a war.

War worked out well for me, not for them. I just don`t want to have to gamble with those kinds of odds.

As I was talking to other protesters about the response we were getting, one wise older woman explained that the people attending the conference really, deep down didn`t want to be selling weapons but they'd sold out to the bottom line. And they couldn`t respect themselves for that, so how could they possibly respect the people reminding them of that?

I asked her how people could wind up in jobs like that. She told me about one man she`d met who was responsible for buying firearms for the military. He'd started out buying toilet paper for federal buildings. So it was just one little step after one little step for him.

Now, most people attending the weapons show firmly beleive that we need weapons to protect our country and way of life. My question is, why are we investing so much money into weapons to protect it? If we turn to weapons to protect our 'peaceful, tolerant, loving Canadian' lifestyle, we ourselves are changing the thing we're trying to protect. Is war, with its unknowable outcomes, the only way to 'protect' it, or is there another way?

As I continue on my job search (yes, folks, I'm still slogging away), I'm encouraged to take what I learned here to heart. It's tempting to get a job that pays well and just ignore the consequences of the work... but what happens if in 30 years I find myself on the other side of the picket line?

Lots to think about...

Most Trusted Canadians

2009-05-22T16:16:00.001-05:00

Reader's Digest Canada recently conducted a survey of the top 50 most trusted Canadians. There were some, umh, interesting finalists.

Here's the highlights:

#1: David Suzuki: an environmental activist who's been advocating since the 60s. YAY!

#2: The Queen (of England): my only comment is that she's British... so I don' think she counts?

#5 Michael J. Fox

#8 Stephen Harper: the prime minister. Someone commented that "It's delightful that Canadians still recognize that, in spite of his Machiavellian tendencies, inside Stephen Harper is a well-meaning boy trying to get out." That's Delightful?!?! I'm sorry, that's disturbing! I must have been sick the day we were taught that it was ok for our leaders to lie and manipulite us so long as they were "well-meaning" at heart.

#12: Wayne Gretzky: a hockey player who was recently implicated in a gambling ring.

#14: Don Cherry: a hockey commentator. It truely is important to have someone you trust analyzing those games... it truely is.

#21: Alex Trebek: That's right, the guy from jeopordy. (as an aside, do you think after approximately 30 years of answering answers in the forms of questions, he's bored?)

#23: Justin Trudeau, son of former prime minister Pierre Trudeau

#27: Niel Young

#28: Elizabeth May: leader of the Green Party, and the second environmental activist on the list. YAY!

#30: Shania Twain: this just made me laugh

#40: Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner

and #50: Kiefer Sutherland: the actor from 24. I guess we trust him to save the TV world every year?

These varing responses beg the question: what exactly are these people trusted to do? I think, really, this is a list of who Canadians think are 'good people', and it's nice to see that we can be a forgiving bunch. Or else we're just really uninformed.

How to Make Yogurt

2009-05-22T07:56:00.001-05:00

At the request of my friend Rachael, here are the instructions for another very simple thing to do that my family just never did growing up: How to make yogurt.

You can be technical and use thermometers and heating pads and such, but here's what I do:

heat milk (i usually make between 1-2 liters at a time) in a large pan over low heat. stir frequently and watch it to make sure it doesn't boil over. milk likes to do that.

once it's simmered (bubbles but not boiling), let it sit until it's slightly warmer then your body temperature. You'll know it is if you put your finger in and the milk just feels slightly warm or if you taste it and it's the approximate temperature of a Starbucks coffee (ie: you won't get sued if you spill it on someone).

The bacteria (Lactobacillus Bulgaricus) need to be warmer then room temperature but not to much warmer or they'll die. Don't worry to much about this, bacteria are hardy and they like to eat, so as long as the milk is somewhat warm, they should be fine.

In a warm container with a lid, place about a tablespoon of already prepared yogurt (which has the bacteria in it) and pour the boiled milk into this container. stir gently and let sit somewhere warm for at least 7 hours.

and that's all there is to it. There are ways to get healthier bacteria cultures and ensure that more of the bacteria stay alive but if you're just beginning and don't want to invest very much, this works fine.

Some tips:

When I lived in Cambodia, I just wrapped the container in towels and left it on the counter over night because it was so warm.

In Canada, in winter, I would try to make it during the day and place the sealed container in a bowl of warm water near a heat register to keep warm during fermentation. Some people suggest placing it in a warm oven (turning the oven off after it's been heated) or in a thermos.

I would say it depends on your climate and what you have handy. Be creative.

In India, women use porous clay containers that are never washed. The bacteria hide out in the pores and all they have to do is add warm milk. And the clay containers retain heat, so they do just fine on their own. Plus India is hot.

In Cambodia, I also covered the container because of ants. I don't know if you actually need to cover it or not, but the bacteria use an anaerobic (oxygen free) process to "eat" the milk, so covering won't interfere with the process and will keep dust, ants, etc, out.

And if you want to get technical, according to Wikipedia, you should heat the milk to 85 C (185 F), then cool it to 43 C (110 F). Ideally, you'd keep it at 43 C for the full 7 hours of fermentation. They also suggest using a microwave to heat the milk and a cold water bath to cool. Which would be faster.

So basically, heat milk, cool milk, add bacteria, keep warm and let sit. The rest is just details. Happy yogurt making!

How to Pop Popcorn

2009-05-21T11:38:00.000-05:00

Growing up there were some things my family, like most North American families, just did not do. One of these things was popping popcorn on the stove. We always microwaved popcorn.

So I always thought popping popcorn on the stove must be extremely difficult and was best left to the experts (like the Amish, for example).

Imagine my delight to find that it is in fact very simple.

Step 1: pour enough oil in a pot to cover the bottom, plus a little extra. heat over medium high heat

step 2: wait a minute or two

step 3: add a few unpopped kernels. When they pop the oil is hot enough and you can add the rest of your kernels. Add just enough so that you can't see the bottom of the pot anymore.

step 4: put the lid on the pot, slightly ajar, and wait. it'll take a minute or two for the popcorn to start popping

step 5: listen as the popcorn pops. keep the lid on slightly ajar, otherwise popcorn will fly everywhere. when the popping peaks, remove from heat.

step 6: add butter, salt, seasonings as desired. (I like to use cyan pepper, turmeric, and yellow curry powder)

The whole process should take about 5-10 minutes

When you've gotten really good at this, you can keep exposing the pot to heat until all the kernels are popped. I was concerned about burning the already popped kernels, so I let it go. But I had far fewer unpopped kernels then with microwave popcorn, so it's all good.

Best of all, there was hardly any garbage. No box, no plastic wrap, and no microwave bag, just the one bluk bag holding my 1 kilo of kernals. Also, depending on where you live, you can get popping corn from a local farmer, reducing the CO2 released in transporting your food. How fantastic. And how simple.

(I also had complete control of the butter and salt added which is a nice health benefit).

I'm encouraged to find out what other things 'we never did growing up' are actually easy to do... stay tuned for adventures in bread making...

LOST at Webster's Falls

2009-05-18T09:33:00.001-05:00

It is the May long weekend here in Canada, also known as the May 2-4. Officially, it celebrates Queen Victoria's Birthday, but unofficially, it celebrates the end of winter and the opening of the outside. Urbanites of all stripes abandon the cities and head into the "wilderness". Not even -10 degrees Celsius and threats of snow can stop them. Of course, the ironic thing is that with everyone going to the woods, the woods become just as packed as the cities usually are...

I decided to skip the masses of traffic and the freezing cold camping trip this year and stay in the city. But to celebrate the outside and the sunshine, some friends and I went hiking at Webster's Falls, a conservation area on the outskirts of town. Essentially, this is a giant park.

And we got lost. In a park. In a park I've been going to since I could walk. Geez. It was embarrassing. So embarrassing that when other trekkers would occasionally happen past us, we didn't ask for directions. We just continued blindly on our way.

The girls I was hiking with are all giant nerds, so although we were lost, we had a great time pointing out different plants, discussing primary and secondary succession, and identifying the life cycle stages of various fungi.

We also noticed an abundance of jack-in-the-pulpits, my favourite wild flower. When I was little, I used to think that these flowers where the homes of little creatures called "jacks". Whenever my parents would point one out, I'd quickly look, trying to find the "jack". In my mind's eye, these were tiny little men dressed in suits, like preachers. I figured my eyes just weren't quick enough to catch the illusive creatures before they ran from their flower homes and disappeared into the forest. But I digress...

Lost in the woods, we came across a trail that we figured must eventually go back to where we started. And it did, 8 kilometers later. That's not a lot, I know, but when you've spent the past 4 months eating donuts in an attempt to increase your body fat and stay warm, well, 8 kilometers is long.

But we made it.

To celebrate our return to civilization, we decided that a BBQ was in order. However, being girls, none of us had a BBQ. Or any meat. In a flash of inspiration, we decided to get some street meat. Hot dogs on the side of the road after a wild hike in the forest. What better way to celebrate the return of spring?

Except that the street meat stalls were closed, this being a holiday weekend and all. Sigh.

Strawberry Fields Forever

2009-05-12T16:58:00.000-05:00

I never got this song (probably because I don't do LSD), but it's taken on new meaning for me now. Oh The Beetles, did you know how relevant your song would be one day?

I posted something about California strawberries being better environmentally then Ontario strawberries even though they have to be shipped here. The feedback I got raised the question of the working conditions in California; illegial migrant workers, etc.

Often times, 'environmental justice' gets pitted against 'social justice'. One example being the seal trade in Newfoundland: cute baby seals vs the cultural and economic needs of a community with limited resources.

One of the community development lessons I learned in Cambodia is that you can't have environmental sustainability without social and economic sustainability. You need wholistic sustainability.

There is a way that allowers workers to be treated well in California, strawberries to be produced with limited impact on the environment, and for those strawberries to remain affordable.

I just don't know what it is...

In the words of the Beetles, living is easy with your eyes closed. You open your eyes to sustainability, and suddenly you have to ask difficult questions about carbon production vs worker's rights.

This is why the environmental movement needs to become bigger then it is. We need more wisdom and more voices.

Lonely Ville 2

2009-05-12T15:14:00.000-05:00

"The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy." Fra Giovanni

One of the first postings I put on this blog was about loneliness in Cambodia and how I was attempting to dig underneath the loneliness to find some joy in it all.

And some interesting things have happened.

I've been going to an Anglican church that's attempting to be "more relevant" (read: they have discussions instead of sermons, sing "turn turn turn" by The Birds, and let you drink coffee during the service). The first time I went there, someone told me that they were really intentional about community and spiritual growth, which sounded like what I was looking for, so I'm sticking it out.

And it's been pretty cool. I've already gotten to know some people pretty well and had some interesting conversations. Also, when they found out I'd been to Cambodia, the pastor (Vicar?) asked me to lead a teaching about working overseas and "Loving your Neighbour".

It was hard to figure out what to say. I can easily give a 5 minute run down of "Cambodia is in south east Asia, people grow rice, I helped them with income generating projects and environmental awareness, etc". But a teaching? On loving your neighbour? Oh boy. Did I even do that?

In the end, I figured something out and gave a decent presentation. Then came question and answer time.

And as people asked me questions, I got really excited.

"What are the people like?" "What did you eat?" "Did you get sick?" "Do people get sick a lot?" "Where do they get clothes?" "What are the schools like?" "What can we do here?"

I realized I have a lot of knowledge that other people here don't have. And while that can be difficult, it's not a bad thing; its not a reason to be annoyed or upset. Its something to offer people. Its exciting when other people want to hear it, when they want to be a part of it.

And this is the truly cool part; as I've been able to share more of this knowledge, other people have been brought into my Cambodian experience so that I'm not the only one there any more. I'm delighted to learn that community and togetherness can act retro-actively, taking away some of the loneliness I felt while I was there.

It's tempting to say I've learned what I needed to learn and that I'm ready to move on to less lonely places, but I suspect I'm just getting started. Being here where I'm not so lonely and where I'm able to recognize and receive the gestures of friendship that are offered, I've been able to get a better perspective on Cambodia and on all the things I saw and did. It's been good but I doubt its over.

Books

2009-05-11T08:34:00.000-05:00

I like to collect books, especially second hand ones with other people's writing in them. A few weeks ago I was on a "simplicity kick" and decided to get rid of everything I no longer use, so about 300 books found their way to the local second hand shop. After lugging 300 books across town, I decided that I would no longer buy books, just get them from the library.

Later I was in the library and they were having a "fill your bag with our discarded books for a dollar" event. At first I was strong and walked by without looking but then, I saw it: Barbara Kingsolver's collection of short stories, "Homeland".

That probably means nothing to you but when I was in high school my English teacher suggested I read "The Poisonwood Bible" by Kingsolver. I loved it and then attempted to read everything I could find by her. My hometown library is kind of small so they only had one other book by her, the Homeland short stories collection. Unfortunately, it's status in the catalog was "missing" and every time I looked for it over the next few years, it continued to be "missing".

But on that fateful day a few weeks ago, I found it.

I'm tempted to write something sentimental about this being a symbol of how I was unable to find my "Homeland" all those years but now that I've travelled and explored, I'm finally able to see that it was here all along. But that'd be really sappy, so I'm not going to write about that.

Instead I'm going to write about the other books I also picked up that day:

The Orange Fish by Carol Shields. Another collection of short stories. According to the dust jacket, Shields is "a prolific writer who lives and writes in Winnipeg". I'm not sure what Winnipeg has to do with being a prolific writer (unless it related to being unable to leave your house for 10 months of the year because it's just too cold), but Shields has a knack for writing realistic characters you actually identify with, especially older women characters. I've found the stories to be beautiful with little snippets of prose that make you read the same passage over and over again.

Through the Narrow Gate: A memoir of life in and out of the convent by Karen Armstrong. Again with the nuns! Very interesting story of a woman attempting to make her faith her own. Not the best writing, but a really interesting topic and many insightful ideas.

The World According to Garp by John Irving. I haven't quite read this one yet. But I read a lot of Irving when I was in university, so I'm excited.

Atlas Shrugged my Ayn Rand. I read about half of it in university but then it depressed me so I stopped. It's about capitalism and industry, how socialism tries to make everyone equal so that truly great people are stifled, etc. At least that's what I think the first half of the book is about. I don't really remember. But since I stopped reading it, I've been haunted by the mystery of who is John Galt? Looking forward to finally finishing this one.

Has anyone else read anything good lately?

Shouting into the Void

2009-05-08T09:17:00.001-05:00

Wow, I have my first official follower who I don't know in real life! I never thought anyone would actually read this so I'm quite flattered. Much thanks to you all!

My one friend thinks blogs are just people shouting into the void. And that's what I intended this to be. But as it turns out there are people in the void. And sometimes they stop to listen to you. Who knew?

Anyway, I came across this quote from Macaulay Culkin and feel it describs my blogging well:

Much like anyone with too much time on his or her hands, I feel as though I am the most important person on earth and everything I do is relevant. I say the most charming and inspired things when no one is around. I think I might have something to say and that everyone in the entire world wants to know about it.

So there you go.

Enjoying the Search

2009-05-08T08:44:00.001-05:00

How beautiful is it to get up and go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different. Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

As anyone reading this blog knows, I've been spending the past few months "farting around" to use Vonnegut's phrasing, or "piddling around" to use my own. And it's been nice. This is the first time in my short life I haven't had to be somewhere or doing something all the time.

At first this scared me; being western and of Christian Reformed background, I thought the only way to be a valuable person was to be an employed person. My very dutch, very Calvinist great-grand parents would have had a heart attack if they knew one of their great-grand children was just piddling around. In their world view, we are here on Earth to give glory to God by working really hard. All the time. Except on Sundays when you go to church, eat soup, nap, and go to church again.

Perhaps it was my exposure to the more relaxed Cambodian work ethic but I'm not really feeling the need to be employed. I get to spend my days doing things I like doing; writing, sewing, reading, talking to people, exploring Southern Ontario, drinking coffee, in short, piddling around. I know I will return to work someday, and I'm excited to get out there again, but stressing about the job search won't change the fact that I'm unemployed, so I might as well enjoy the perks to unemployment while I can.

I'm recognizing this as a unique opportunity to rest and learn at my own pace. I get to explore different career options and really take time to decide what I want to do. Its been a discovery process and mostly it has been rewarding. I probably won't have an opportunity like this again for a while, so I'm going to enjoy it.

My own worldview has become a mix between Vonnegut's and my great Opa and Oma's: We are put on this Earth to love each other: at times this will involve working really hard, at times this will involve farting around, but at all times this will involve loving God and loving yourself. So go out and do something beautiful, but don't beat yourself up if you don't get paid for it.

Good Vibrations: Networking Does Work!

2009-05-07T14:08:00.000-05:00

I've been attempting to expand my network and build connections in the hopes of landing some sort of job. And it is my delight to report that this works.

Just not for me. So no, I don't have a job yet.

However, I was able to find a job for a friend's sister, Cara. She was looking for a summer job in my home town, so her sister sent me her resume to give to my mom who has a small buisness (network!).

After reading her resume, I didn't think she'd enjoy working at my mom's shop, but I figured a job's a job, so I sent it along.

Later, I was talking to a woman who mentioned that she was looking to hire a tutor for her mildly autistic son. Instantly, I thought of Cara. She's majoring in education and has had multiple experiences working with developmentally delayed people. So I mentioned her the the woman, and budda-bing-budda-boom, Cara has a summer job in her field.

So yes, networking does work.

Let's hope the saying "one good turn deserves another" is true and I'll wind up with some networking joys of my own. Although my first networking attempt didn't quite work out as I had hoped, it has produced some leads. My contact (no doubt feeling guilty) has forwarded me some internal job postings. So we'll see what happens!

Neil Young: When God Made Me

2009-05-05T15:44:00.000-05:00

Every once and a while I hear a song or read a poem that makes me morn my limited ability to write. Neil Young's When God Made Me is one of those songs.

Here are the lyrics, though I suggest you go try to find a copy of Joel Kroeker singing it.

WHEN GOD MADE ME

Was he thinking about my country,
or the colour of my skin?
Was he thinking about my religion,
and the way I worshipped him?
Did he create just me in his image,
or every living thing?

When God made me.
When God made me.

Was he planning only for believers,
or for those who just had faith?
Did he envision all wars
that were fought in his name?
Did he say there was only one way
to be close to him?

When God made me.
When God made me.

Did he give me the gift of love
to say who I could choose?

When God made me.
When God made me.
When God made me.

Did he give me the gift of voice
so some could silence me?
Did he give me the gift of vision
not knowing what I might see?
Did he give me the gift of compassion
to help my fellow man?

When God made me.
When God made me.
When God made me.

I love this song because it's so simple and yet so thought provoking. You can take a simplistic view of it and say that Young is clearly anti-God and anti-religion and must be banned, or you can think about it for a bit and wonder yeah, why exactly did God make me? Was it to blindly follow my culture's ideas of who a good person is? Or was it to question and challenge the norm? To speak, to see, and to love truth?

Informational Interview Take 1

2009-05-04T21:05:00.001-05:00

After some soul searching and personality testing, I have decided that policy development may just be the field for me. So I've been exploring the options a bit and trying to get some connections.

Using my university's alumni network (which I formerly thought only keeners and wanna-bes used), I finally managed to arrange an informational interview with someone in municipal government. I prepared thoroughly, made a list of questions, tweaked my resume, and even googled him to see what things he's interested in so we could potentially talk about those things.

Then I drove through Toronto in the rain. Then I got lost. Then I couldn't find parking.

But eventually I found my way and made it to his office with exactly 5 minutes to spare.

And he wasn't there!

He had called in sick, and due to various misunderstandings, I had not been informed. I was crushed, so much effort! So much enthusiasm! I decided to call him the next day and re-schedule a phone interview so that I wouldn't have to drive through Toronto again. Somewhat miserable, I returned to my car and tried to think what to next.

I have a friend in that area, so I thought I'd pop over to her house for some commiserating and a pep-talk. And I got lost again. But then I saw some nuns and asked them to help me. And they did. They let me use their cell phone to call my friend. I love nuns.

So I got to my friend's house, who like me, is living with her parents, and we had a good chat. Then her Italian mom came home and feed us a lot of food. It was great. Until I decided to stand up and knocked myself out on the chandelier hanging above my head. My doctor later confirmed that I had a concussion.

So this is what happens when you attempt to network: you wind up with a concussion. Let that be a lesson to you all.

Eating Local

2009-05-01T16:39:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to reduce my carbon footprint, I try to eat local produce as much as possible.

However, I recently heard a good argument about land use from a friend. He explained that in California, strawberries grow more quickly and with fewer applications of pesticides and fertilizers then in Southern Ontario. Also, less land is needed to grow the same amount of strawberries. His rational was that we should let the Californians grow strawberries, since they can do it better then we can anyway, and let the land we used to use to grow strawberries revert to forest.
As the forest grows, it'll absorb carbon and store it in the plants and the soil. He figures this more then off-sets the carbon used to ship the strawberries here.

A rational argument, I thought, although he didn't have numbers or facts to back it up, so I'm not sure if it stands up. And, I wonder what the likelihood is that the land will be allowed to regenerate into forest? It'll probably be turned into a subdivision or a Walmart... Or used to grow corn for bio fuels (not really a good thing, as it turns out, more on that later).

This sustainability stuff gets really complicated...

Job Search = Networking

2009-04-19T12:32:00.000-05:00

I always rebelled against the idea of networking when I was in undergrad. I hated the idea that a superficial connection to someone would get me a job. I especially hated the idea that the least qualified person could wind up with a great job just because their aunt's hairdresser went to highschool with the CEO of Nortel (this was pre-crash). I especially hated this thought because my aunt's hairdresser didn't go to high school with anyone influental (I don't think).

Also, I was terrified of people and the thought of talking to random strangers filled me with panic and made me want to throw up. (I'm a little better now.)

But as I've embarked on my current job search, I've learned some startling facts. For instance, for every 200 resumes you send out, you will get one job interview, but for every 12 "informational interviews" you go to, you will get one job interview.

Also, if you take 100 random strangers, you'll find that only 2 of them got their current job by sending in a resume. 60 of them got it through a connection of some sort.

So, as scary as it is, I am going to network.

But hurray! I've learned that I don't have to do it by myself! As I attempt to become a real grown up person, I've realized more and more the need for a community in which to grow in. This time, the 'community' is coming from the Career Services Center at my old university. They have been shockingly supportive. I should have gone there in first year.

And I'm also learning that these networking connections don't have to be superficial. They can be genuine and real relationships.

So, I'm stepping out into the wide world of networking in the hopes of building some genuine relationships with people... but a job would be a welcomed side-effect.

Incorporating Social Justice Part III: Community

2009-04-13T11:09:00.001-05:00

how we relate to each other is part of how we relate to God. For Jesus, the two great commandments, to love God and love one’s neighbour, can never be separated. … He tells us that anyone who claims to love God who is invisible but refuses to deal with a visible neighbour is a liar, for one can only really love a God who is love if one is concretely involved with a real community (ultimately an ‘ecclesial community’) on earth. The search for God is not a private search for what is highest for oneself or even for what is ultimate for oneself. Spirituality is about a communal search for the face of God—and one searches communally only within a historical community. Rolheiser, p. 68-69

Ah community. Quite possibly my biggest struggle on the list. Rolheiser lists four things as essential to having a Christian spirituality: private prayer and morality, social justice, mellowness of heart, and community.

I've been looking at the four in terms of how they relate to social justice, but I don't think that was Rolheiser's intent. I think his intent is to show how all four components relate to Christian spirituality. Social justice is a component of this spiritually, not the goal.

I like to focus on social justice though because then I can ignore community. I'm OK with the idea of community if the goal is to create social justice but not if the goal is to be vulnerable with people (yuck!) or to be directed in a spiritual path.

Like many people, I don't want to be told what to do. I don't want a church or anyone telling me how it's appropriate to act or how I should seek God. In this sense I'm three years old and "I can do it". I can find God myself thank you very much.

And communities are messy. People don't act in altruistic or caring ways, sometimes they say and do hurtful things without realizing it (or even sometimes fully realizing it). Sometimes people don't meet my needs.

I know a lot of people who no longer go to church because the people there are ignorant/cliquey/ selfish/stubborn/judgemental. But as I've matured, I've come to realize that those things bother me so much because I'm ignorant, cliquey, selfish, stubborn, and judgmental. The weekly reminder of that is really annoying.

So, I'm realizing, I can be three and stubborn and not get involved because other people aren't meeting my needs, or I can be a grown up and get over it, and focus on meeting other people's needs.

Because if I want to seek God (and I do), I can't do it by myself. I'm just not that special. Oh so frustrating.

Incorporating Social Justice Part II: mellowness of heart

2009-04-06T12:17:00.001-05:00

Rolheiser, in his book, The Holy Longing, suggests four key components of a healthy spirituality: Private prayer and morality, social justice, mellowness of heart, and community. This post is about "mellowness of heart":

According to Rolheiser, mellowness of heart has to do with the removal of anger and guilt, allowing us to be holistic and healthy people who are able to enjoy life, other people, and God.

It also directly ties to our motives for seeking social justice. He argues a proper spirit is essential for any work of social justice. Any work based out of anger, guilt, or self-aggrandizement will just mirror the situation that created the injustice in the first place and ultimately just perpetuate the cycle.

This reminds me of Einstein's quote that we can not solve our problems using the same thinking that created them. I suspect we cannot solve our problems using the same spirit that created them either. There are people who have done good works of social justice out of guilt or anger or frustration (people like me for example), but ultimately they haven't really affected anyone or anything.

I enjoy a good fight and I suspect that half the reason I am passionate about certain causes is because I get to yell at people in the name of justice. I think I have have some impact on people... but I don't think it's enough to truly change anything. I may help reorganize the system for a while, but I don't contribute to making a new system. I don't radically make anything new.

"Be the change you want to see in the world", "changed people change the world", you're probably all familiar with those sayings, but how do you change? How do you really know if you're devoting your life to a cause out of altruism and a sense of justice or out of your own needs to fight or to alleviate guilt?

Rolheiser would say because your heart is 'mellow'; there is no striving or sense of obligation; no bitterness over what you've given up and no boasting either.

So how does one arrive at this mellowness of heart? I'm guessing that comes in time as you practice not only personal prayer and private morality, but also social justice. Sometimes you can't wait until you've changed before you act. Sometimes it's the acting that makes you change.

Rolheiser also mentions the need for a community in which to act in, which I'll talk about in the next post...

Incorporating Social Justice

2009-04-06T11:13:00.000-05:00

As mentioned in previous posts, I've been struggling with how social justice fits into Christianity: is it the goal or a by-product?

I think there are two domintant messages in Christianity at the moment:

Either we're told to focus on our private relationship with God and to seek social justice if the spirit leads us (making social justice a by-product)

or we're told that Jesus primirily came to teach us how to seek social justice and that the private relationship is a means to that end (making social justice the goal).

Ronald Rolheiser, a Catholic priest, presents an interesting take in his book "The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality". He writes:

we see that Jesus was prescribing four things as an essential praxis for a healthy spiritual life: a) private prayer and private morality; b) social justice; c) mellowness of heart and spirit; and d) community as a constitutive element of true worship. They comprise the essence of the spiritual life. They also supply its balance. Only when all four of these are present in our lives are we healthy, as Christians and as human beings. (Ronald Rolheiser, The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality. Doubleday, Toronto, 1999. p.53-54

I was intreged by his equal emphasis on all four components. For him, the goal is a healthy spirituality, which he defines as how we manage the "eros within us", or the spirit of God within us.

A personal relationship (through private prayer and morality) and social justice are both components of a healthy spirituality. Neither is a goal nor a by-product, but both are essential parts of the equation.

The other two components he mentions, mellowness of heart and community, are just as important and I hope to write more about them later...

Killing Time

2009-03-28T10:58:00.000-05:00

I recently got a job at a garden center to kill time until the next big thing comes along. The depressing thing is that it's the exact same job I had when I was in high school.

I always assumed that my high school diploma, bachelors of science, and a year of professional experience in my field would qualify me for more then the same job I had when I was 17.

Sigh.

I suppose this is what happens when there's a recession (at least that's what I tell myself).

But I do get to interact with a lot of people everyday so I'm turning this into a 'networking' experience. A lot of people remember me from when I was there in high school, so when they ask what I've been up to, I say "I just got back from working for a non-profit in Cambodia and I'm looking for a job in environmental research or conservation".

Now, ideally, this will lead the other person to say something like this:

"Wow, you are amazing, you should work for my friend X."

or "That's incredible, I'm going to hire you on the spot to work for my incredibly interesting organization."

or even "That's wonderful, here is some money."

Unfortunately this has not happened yet. But I have hope... kind of...